A reminder to remain vigilante

This is a fun, "fictional" story for this week's GBE2 prompt.  The challenge: create an interesting story to explain how, a fellow blogger Jane, ended up with 27 stitches.  

Let's listen as Jane is recounting her memoirs to us some time after the stitches have healed.

I was surrounded. I had lost track of time as I walked the perimeter of the gated community.I instinctively reached for my dagger.
Argh. I could not feel it in my waist-belt any longer.

I needed to get moving. I didn't have the luxury to stand in shock. I could already hear the first sounds of soft shoes shuffling on dirt. I knew what was coming next when I heard da-dum dum dum DUM dah.
I swear that I hate bass guitars and the ominous notes of a sound machine

The Thriller Zombie crew had arrived I couldn't see them, but I could hear the synchronized dance routine in full swing. I ran back into the house to sound the alarm for the neighboring cul-de-sacs.
As I entered the room, I walked past the the helpful sign on the fridge. I keep asking myself, is it really so helpful when they are actually here?

No time to consider this.

Last week Greenville Heights militia succumbed to the Carlton Dance Zombie crew.
Such a gruesome scene with Body parts everywhere
Those zombie arms tend to fly off from the joints and sockets when they get into the full swing. If I cared, I would consider the impressive mental capability of a rotting brain that knows to replace those missing limbs with the parts of their victims. I didn't.

Walking through the house I knew, I was distracted.
I keep trailing back to thoughts of last year's standoff with the Rubberband Zombies. Their tuxedos in tatters, their use of viscera to affect the dance routine still makes me shudder.
Everyone fears the Rhythm Nation Zombies. With good reason. That is one organized army of ghouls.They took down Armstead Heights United in two days.

It was a cool night. I sniffed. They were closer.
I could smell the decay of the crew on the wind.
The zombies shouldn't be out at this time of the year. Stupid warm winter.
Yet, I could hear the footsteps and the swish of the arm movements.
I was doing it again. Stroking my cheek and the scar embedded into its flesh.
I willed my hand to get a grip on some weapons instead. I pulled my thoughts back to the Thriller threat. I need to continue searching for weapons and sound the alarm.Not think about the scar on my cheek.
I do it anyway. it has been about a week now.
I got too close to a tambourine. Much, much too close.
A high heeled, tight satin pant wearing ghoul jerked it toward me as it attempted to feast from shoulder. My roommate had to give me 27 stitches.
Damn,Raspberry Beret Zombies. If I ever see you again, I will set the edges of your ruffled shirts on fire before I consider using a weapon to end your miserable undead life.

Raspberry Beret - Prince by abelflexes

Raspberry Beret - Prince by abelflexes

Spring

Wordless Wednesday

No Slimy Tracks For Me

This week's prompt for GBE 2, Upset, had triggered so many thoughts.
I looked up many definitions of the word for inspiration.
I reviewed my week for issues that had upset me.
Then it came to me like a cold front.
For the past few weeks, I have heard again and again.

What lovely weather this is

or

This could be the warmest winter in decades

or

I love this weather.

I want you to know that this weather is very UPSETTING to me.
Why, WHY you ask?
because a warm winter warns of Sluggowar 2012 in the Frizzy garden.

Hey, did you know that?
☹Slugs remain active in 41° F. Active. Meaning reproducing. Meaning eating vegetable matter.
☹Number of eggs one gray garden slug can lie in a year: 400. Hundreds of baby snails could be hatching everyday the weather remains above average.
☹As hermaphrodites, slugs have both male and female sex organs which allow any two to mate.That is nasty and means more slug eggs.
☹Many predators-birds, squirrels, and mice stay away from slugs and snails because of their horrible taste.
☹Slugs are territorial and will attack caterpillars and other slug “intruders.” Slugs are the bullies of the garden pests?
☹When slugs’ teeth wear out new rows move forward and replace them, conveyor-belt style.
☹Favorite foods include: strawberries, leafy plants, and some root vegetables.Yeah, my poor berries and greens. Have you ever halved a cabbage only to find a slug in its center?
☹A small slug can eat as much as it weighs sometimes twice that amount in one night.
☹Only 5% of the slug population appears above ground at any time. This fact makes me feel icky

Those vile things are reproducing. Right now. Right now in my garden.Slug on slug sex.

a dewy dampness–

morning sunshine reflects

in slimy tracks

All I can do is try to turn over the soil when it warms up so that the next time it freezes, the frost will zap slug eggs.

I have to begin my anti-slug campaign early if I expect to harvest my strawberries this Spring. And my collards, cabbages and lettuce, What will become of them???? I must work quickly.

My checklist
1. Collect egg shells. Sprinkle them on the garden all Winter
2. Use beer to attract and drown slugs
3. Use pitchfork or rake to turn over soil
4. Find the pool supply stuff my Dad uses to "guillotine" them
5. Collect coffee grounds to place around the strawberry patch

I am heading to the garden store this week to get started.

On a bright side, this week's prompt made me think of one of my favorite poems
I Meant To Do My Work Today
by Richard LeGallienne
I meant to do my work today,
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.
And the wind went sighing over the land,
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand,
So what could I do but laugh and go?

Injuries while Studying

Drama is best with an accent

This week's prompt for GBE2 is Review.

I want to show you something.This was a few days before Christmas. Trey asked to spend the night. He requested that the Christmas gifts remain in the guestroom with him. I didn't see the harm in it. When I arrived to collect the mugs of hot cocoa, this is what I found. He said to me. "Since the gift is almost already opened, I should open it all the way and play with it." I learned my lesson.

I remember the 90s and early 2000's when I thought reality shows were the portents of the demise of the US culture. Of course my beliefs were strengthened when the Twilight series was made into movies. With that being said, I am now finding myself completely hooked on shows like Gigolos, Bridezillas, RuPaul's Drag Race, Jerry Springer, and Cheaters. Oh god, I love Cheaters. And Gigolos is amazing.
For the past month or so, I have been recording Lo Que No Podia Amaron the DVR. I have never been a serious fan of soap operas but these telenovelas somehow, somehow they are different. On occasion, I try to watch the shows while preparing for work. Eh. Not so much. The language barrier is too much to endure while applying my foundation.I had to stop.

http://www.frog-clip-art.com

So everything changed for me this week when two events occurred. 1 Univision announced English subtitles on its popular telenovels and 2 I contracted bronchitis. Finding myself out of commission for an entire week, I decided to watch the show while convalescing. Now that I can read the daily recaps on Caray Caray and and the English subtitles for myself,I can provide a review of the blog's helpfulness and accuracy.
Therefore this is my review of Caray Caray.

From reading the comments, I assume that the majority of the followers read Spanish or otherwise understood the novela prior to reading the recap.This makes me feel like an new member of an old clique in a way.Hopefully, I will catch on quickly and will be able to contribute to the discussion, soon.
The blog recaps popular telenovellas in English. The writers provide no spoilers. Each telanovela has three to five recappers. Each recapper has a style and uses specific nicknames and other terms. The recaps provide an entertaining review of the day's episode.
The blog itself boasts a simple layout.:Perhaps, too simple. On one hand, you can simply navigate the left column to find your favorite telenovela's recap feed.The colors are easy to digest. Even if I don't like them.
Despite this, I find the site's setup a bit confusing. It is hard to just click on the most recent recap for a show. Admittedly, since I subscribe to the feeds, I can avoid visiting the site and its color scheme.

http://ragecomics.memebase.com/2011/04/07/ 

To locate the archives, I have to scroll to the VERY end of the site.
Valuable space is used to present pictures of the recappers and pictures of popular characters from telenovelas on the left column. Just the pictures. The images have no associated hyperlinks to take us to the personal blogs of the recapers or to the any websites of the shows. It is just about the Caray Caray site and nothing else. The purpose of the site is written quick and dirty at the top of the main page. I can appreciate a site that doesn't think too highly of itself while doing an excellent job of entertaining its readers.
The recappers have been compiled to impart
 their humor and observations. I know this because today, I watched the show with the English subtitles first. At each commercial break I read the recaps. Good times. Good times. I could drink tea with the recappers and find myself wholly entertained.
Here is a sample from yesterday=

Rohell, obviously a bundle of nerves about his pending nuptuals, is drinking in solitude. Tia MeniRosa decides this is a good time to schmooze him and gush about how she's looking forward to him being her nephew. Rohellio is in no mood for her syrupy, insincere familiarity. He grumpily tells her to stop calling him "Rogelio," It's SEÑOR MONTERO to you, b*tch! Okay he didn't say that last part.

As you can read, the recapper affectionately refers to Rogelio as Rohell, an obvious play on the Spanish pronunciation of the soft G and the fact that he is a dick. She and one other recapper call his fiance Cupcake, referring to her glossy mane as "frosting." Another recapper refers to Rogelio's Ex as "Vain-essa." It took me a few episodes to realize that the spelling was intentional and not the Spanish version of the name. Ignoring the toying with the names of the characters, each of the recappers does an amazing job of writing exactly what they (and I) were thinking while watching the show.

The manager of the site have found a consistent group of contributors for each of the shows. The site updates fairly consistently but one can subscribe to the rss feed of a particular show.

The comments on the posts are very interactive. The blog has quite a few regular readers. The commentors leave remarks that are sometimes English 401 worthy.

Prior to the English captions, I relied heavily on the recaps to explain when facial expressions, my 8 semesters of college Spanish translations, and body language were not in sync. I only follow one show as of now. I will be adding El Talisman, a show that debuted this week on Univision and Caray Caray. I am excited to follow a new show from the beginning.
El Talisman's description of the opening scene from Caray Caray

From a distance, we view a woman riding a powerful brown and white stallion across an endless sea of green farmland.  The camera zooms in on a slow motion shot of the galloping horse’s legs, and then fades into a close-up shot of our heroine, the beautiful Camila.   With wild hair, blowing in the manufactured wind of a large industrial fan, our heroine (who now appears to be riding a rocking horse), turns and looks back when she hears her name frantically shouted from a black jeep!  Total beauty shot!  Tyra banks would be so proud! According to her brother, Armando, people are at the house taking their things! 

I love this site!

That is my review of a little website I found to help me to enjoy my telenovelas a little better. Something that hasn't occurred since that first college level Spanish course back in 1989.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net