Man's Charm is Hardness

I can't get enough of these subject headings from my SPAM folder. And neither will you. We are entering the final stretch of Winter's grasp. Just a few more weeks.

I have finally discovered one of the sources of my sleeping problems.

Each night, I find myself wide awake at 5:20 am. Every freaking day. 
My alarm sounds at 6:00 am. I thought that maybe, my body was attempting to slowly awaken. Why it did this, I did not know. I just wanted it to stop. Yet everyday, I blink my eyes open turn to the right and check just to be sure. And I see it.
Greeting me like a lover.
5:20 a.m. 
Each morning One could hear me exclaim, "DAMMIT, not again."

One would think that I would just get up and start my morning workout. One would be a fool.

I want all the sleep to which I am entitled. I sacrifice quite a bit by turning off my lamp and/or TV at 10 pm each night. I can't discuss any show that airs after 10 pm with my friends unless I catch it on Hulu.
Last year, all of my favorite shows aired during the adult time slot. This year, I have no favorite TV shows. Changing satellite companies took away the DVR in my bedroom. Sigh. I miss the DVR in my bedroom. I stopped frequenting the living room in order to reduce the possibility of moving my yarn stash and bags of WIPs into it and creating a living monster. Does the living room really need the only DVR?

Although the cat might like yarn all over the couches. It would add interest to the cat hair. Speaking of cats, I miss Fattie Cat. Sigh.

The neighbor's outdoor cat has his winter coat. With his black fur, he looks like a bowling ball. I will try to capture him on film. He is mostly tame. Cept when he shits in my garden or flower beds.Then he is a feral monster.

Mentioning the garden. I have been advised that I must start applying anti-slug measures. HOW? The snow still covers the ground. Does anyone know? This video didn't tell me anything...
Back to that which wakens me every morning at 5:20 A freaking M. This morning I solved the mystery.
Imagine this each morning. Yes. That. Horrible. Sound.
Someone running their car. Their noisy car. Since I don't have the energy or the inclination to look out the window into the dark morning and locate the offending vehicle and do whatever with the information, I will use the blog to express my feelings.

I hate you whoever you are. And I HATE your car, too.

My First Surgery

Here I am. There are 32 more days of the year remaining and I have $200 left on my Flexible Spending Account. I can pay for expensive reading glasses at about $100. I can call my dentist and inquire about a mouth plate for possible night time clenching at about $150. I will renew every possible medication. I might buy some expensive OTC lotion for my dry skin. Some allergy medicines. Perhaps, I will see my PCP about my aching toes..... I swear if it is a bunion, I will freaking lose my mind. All my exercise is walking.

Anyway, I am boggled. I wonder if I should see if an air purifier would be covered under the FSA?

Since I am having a procedure in December for my condition, I had the bright idea of researching the out-of-pocket costs for it. I have something that left unresolved can become sleep apnea. The possible resolutions => lose weight or have UPPP. I have mentioned this in a previous post. I have lost no weight. Therefore, I am having Radio Frequency, Ablation Palatoplasty, Septoplasty and Turbinate Reduction. A mouthful wasn't that?
The billing department will give me the costs, then I call my insurance company. This is all very complicated but it must be done in order to use up my FSA for 2010.

But here is the clincher. The Flexible Spending account rules change in 2011! And I didn't know this. I am hitting my head on the desk. I completely missed the rule changes. Therefore, I have a bunch of money set up for the FSA for 2011 that I will not be able to use on stuff I currently need.
Argh.
On the bright side, if I have a bunion problem then treatment will be covered by the FSA.

I should mention that Trey lost his brand new handknit scarf this weekend.

Dirty Dirty fur

Dirty Fur
So much has happened recently. It will take a few posts to cover everything. And I am sure that more oddness with occur.

I started this blog because I thought my life was just too silly not to share. Four or maybe five years later – nothing has changed.

I am branching out into a new fiber hobby. Spinning my own yarn. Dude gave me two trash bags of first and second cut alpaca fur. His cousins have pet alpacas.

It is filthy. These animals are not being raised for their fur but as pets. So no care was taken to ensure that the fur is maintained, relatively clean, etc. i was assured that the alpacas were white but the contents of the bag of dirt, burs, sticks and straw was tan in color.

I pulled out a huge arm full of filthy fur last Spring.

I washed it in my tub with some cheap citrus scented dish soap. That was a interesting. There was so much dirt , vegetable matter (VM), and grit that I feared for the pipes of my 87 year old house. But I had started and I could not stop. I filled the tub seven times before the water took on a beige color. I cleaned the hair trap 20 or so times to permit the water to flow out of the tub. I was so tired, I did not think I would finish but I knew that it would be long time before I pulled another armful of fur out of one of those trash bags. I will never use the tub again. Since my municipality has converted to automatic trash pick up, i will use one of the old cans to clean the fur using lingerie bags.

I dried the fur on the balcony. Of course, while it dried and I was at work Mother Nature felt it funny to send a scattered rain shower into my neighborhood. Even funnier, is that she sent pretty strong gusts to blow the sun umbrella out of its clamp. Nice…. The neighbors watched the umbrella fly around the backyard. I know this because the teenager met me at my car to share the funny story with me when i arrived home that day.

Latter, I bought sunflower seeds and filled the birdfeeder. No more storms or gusty winds after that. Mother Nature looks out for her own.

I picked the fur while on the balcony to allow the fur and straw to fly around for the birds to gather for their nests. See, I learned. I gave back to the animals

Dude asks about my progress with the Alpaca yarn at least twice a month. He claims that his cousin wants to see what I have made with it. He admits to me that he promised them that I would make them a blanket. I suggested that he not pimp my talents ever again.

During our trip to GA to visit my sister, he offered to help me prepare the fur. Good thing he got sick. There was no way, I was going to fool with that fur on vacation.

A few weeks back, I took the washed and picked yarn to a spinning group meeting. The gals demonstrated carding to me.

They also asked me if I cleaned the yarn before carding it. Several commented that perhaps this yarn was not worth all the prep work. Some suggested that I was only committed to preparing the fiber because I wanted to impress Dude. Many asked if Dude was worth all of this trouble. This went on for HOURS. They had turned my efforts to expand my fiber artistry into a lame attempt at gaining favor with my boyfriend and his family.

I persisted and look what I madeabout a dozen or so rolags.

I started spinning it last week. I promptly broke my spindle by trying to force the shaft into the whorl as it appeared in the picture. I am guessing that the shaft was poorly made and it was clearly too big. I am going to wait until the next spinning meetup and have the gals help me.

Driving in my Sleep

I have been having a new reoccurring dream theme. In these dreams, I am driving a car. It is a stick shift. the gears are shaped like this

Gear one and three are at the top. Gear two is on the bottom on the left. Gears four and five are on the right. In these dreams, I have a hell of a time trying to drive. And for some reason, I am always the one who is driving to an appointment and we are late. I have not been able to google an analysis of this theme. It is disturbing me.

Not to mention that I had a variation of the dream during yesterday’s Sleep Study. It was my third sleep study. This time there were tubes coming out of my nose (2) going down my pant leg, stuck to my stomach, on my neck and on my jaw. Those tubes were new to me. I guess they were checking for snoring, teeth grinding, leg movement, breathing, and sleeping position. This time, unlike the previous studies, I spoke in my sleep. This time, unlike the previous studies, I was video taped. Ugh.

I am waiting on the results. I have learned that I move my legs in my sleep due to low ferritin levels that I have probably had since my last study in 2008. I wonder if my leg movements during the study coincide with my nocturnal five-speed driving adventures.

Crafty Update

A hat and scarf set has been completed for one of the nieces.

Takes a bow It was fun working with this yarn. I had to model this myself.

And one for the nephew I talked Dude into modeling it for me.

and the other nephew There is a hat and a scarf there.

and a scarf for me This one was knitted. I am working on the hat and gloves.

What Time Is It

Okay the last few days I have been awaking with frozen limbs. Sometimes it is my right arm sometimes it is the left. I have no idea what I am doing in my sleep but I am definitely not lying in the same position or even on the same diagonal on the bed. My cat does not sleep with me anymore. When I wake she is no where to be found. I am kicking her out. I guess it does not help that my alarm clock hates me. I probably should not crochet an hour before going to bed. I am sure it is somehow the reason for my zombie limbs. I have been trying to complete my altered Geisha Wrap.

This morning it read 7:50 am. I turned on the TV, because by now I suspected that the clock had lost its objectivity. It was 5:17 am. Sugarbear!!!!

The alarm had been running for about 20 minutes before I awoke to cancel it. It all made sense to me. I never look at that clock during the day. I keep it on a side of the bed that requires me to reach for it. I use the TV to for time. There had been some days when I could not recall the alarm at all. I had set up a second alarm – as a late alarm. Thank goodness that I did. I do not think that there is any clock in my house that is correct except the Oven’s clock. Due to daylight savings time, for some clocks I just do not bother.

Even so, it is time for a new clock.

I do wish that other upcoming deadlines would push back. Due to an oversight, I will not be paid for 24 hours next paycheck. So much for more yarn. Fortunately, I will get the lost hours later in July around my birthday with the new raise included. Yeah!

Been A Long Diet

Well

It has been forever since I have written a proper blog.  The creative writing class that I took during the spring  made me less likely to blog.

In the class, I had to write small autobiographical stories based on techniques and memory tricks.  I would post them to the online forum and my classmates would add commas.  I am terrible with commas, proper nouns and balancing metaphors.  I had to enlist the aid of an editor.   At first I thought that writing a blog and an autobiographical short story would be vastly different.  I wrote poorly and bored my reader.

Here is an excerpt of my fairy tale.

 

            Once a upon a time, a young family called Hooker with two little girls moved to a modern  castle in the Land of Toledo.  The two little girls fought and argued, disappointing their mother whose relationship with her own sister was stronger than any in the world.  One day the mother called the little girls outside to wave goodbye to their father. The dutiful girls said their goodbyes and continued to live with their mother in the castle.  They had no reason to miss him as he visited regularly. 

 

Awful. I know. 

In this story I wrote about my work experiences.

 

When I began my job, 4 and ½ years ago, there was nothing but an outline of responsibilities and forms.  I had sought training, learned new techniques, adopted curriculum and consulted with experts to improve outcomes.  While I was indulged, my position was ultimately a support function for an essential position in the program.  I felt powerless the day I was overruled during a staff meeting because my suggestion while logical and valid was not time efficient.  At this meeting, I finally understood that my position was the undesired portion of a pivotal function within the program.  There were other occasions where my advice or recommendations were discounted because of tradition or expediency despite it being the best response for the students that we served.  This began a conflict.  The program functioned as a 30 year old machine maintained by mechanics who ignored 30 years of innovation.  Who patronized the new mechanics with their fancy tools and resources by offering to them a doughnut, cup of coffee, and a pat on the head.

 

After my editor helped me with this she suggested that I try humor: 

 

That was when I began to perform well in the course. 

I wrote about my grandfather and his dementia. I wrote about trying to train cats. I wrote about tormenting my little sister with a tub of butter.  I wrote about creating handmade masterpieces that were hidden in basements by their recipients.  I wrote about  roommates, sex and, … well, you read some of it in a previous post.    

I got an A in that course.

 

Since I have written on this wall. Many things have occurred.  I have gained 15 pounds.  That means two dress sizes.  I love it when people pretend not to notice don’t you? I mention that I am overweight and how it is driving me crazy and I get responses like “you are not fat. You are fine” Sometimes my revelation is met with surprise.   I have stated that my weight gain is out of control and I can not figure out its source and I am matter-of-factly told that I am probably just eating too much. 

I want you to think about that for just a moment.  Wouldn’t you have ALREADY RULED THAT OUT. I am 5 4” and I am tipping almost 200 lbs.  I am not obese.  I can get away with saying “thick” with my Black peers but I am not happy.

I am being successfully treating for narcolepsy, SADS, hypothyroidism and allergic rhinitis.  Each of my doctors say that I should not be gaining weight with the treatments.  They are concerned. 

In the 21st Century, we members of what might be the fattest country in the world have access to gazillions of datum related to calories, fat content, carbs and fiber.  There is a new diet on the best seller list each quarter.  Our celebrities are hounded for their diet secrets and ridiculed for the weight gain.  I am a moderately intelligent woman who has taken advantage of my job’s wellness program, which for me includes a coach and an exercise program.  I would freaking just admit it if I were simply overeating………………

 

So

I have had to alter something in my life with my extra baggage.  I got over being completely upset over my belly touching my thighs when I use the bathroom.  I use objects to scratch my back.  I have discovered body shapers. I eat healthy snacks.  I wear more jewelry and make-up.  I look longingly at my size 7 shoe collection.  I can only wear 7 ½’s now. 

I taught myself to knit and walk at the same time.

Okay, you probably read that sentence twice. 

 I found that I can get a moderate exercise routine in while completing some of my craft projects.  No, I do not knit and walk in public although, I might…..

I am determined to get my work-out where ever and when ever I can. 

I wear a pedometer to track my steps each day.  I attend line dancing classes (which is a guaranteed 5000 steps each session.)  I use Calorie Count and a diet journal to track my food and weight.  I measure myself each week. 

I am blowing up.

I have tried reducing wheat and that only seemed to help my heartburn.  I am reducing corn products and I have discovered that corn is in everything.  It is quite sickening how much corn we eat.  I have never been a regular at fast food restaurants but I do watch how much I eat when I eat at sit-down eateries. 

I am on top of this.  But when I climb on that scale it just gives in…….

I am determined to get healthy again.

Besides, I want to try online dating and I don’t want to check “overweight” under the body type category. 

More to come. 

And It Continues

I have done it again. Neglected my blogging responsibilities.

You should know that not only have I avoided blogging, I have also avoided exercising, journaling, working on a short story, and buffing my nails.

Terrible aren't I. I really need to get on those nails.

I have on the other hand been anxiously awaiting the return of South Park, Medium, Law and Order: CI, my daffodils and crocuses, and a comb.

I am convinced that there is some rift in space and time from which some ogre reaches through and steals my combs. Okay, I know that I wear my hair natural and I do not really need a comb but there are times that I do. Those are the times that the ogre lives for.

I am still terribly afraid of the impending zombie war, restless in my small office, tired all of the time, crocheting or knitting, fascinated by just how much diet dr. pepper tastes like regular dr. pepper, and drinking vodka.

I spend my days napping, imagining methods of getting rid of stray cats, shopping for shoes, and working on baby blankets for friends.

I still haven't lost the weight that I gained this Fall. My hand hurts from trying to finish my sister's baby blanket before the shower. I haven't met with my doctor to discuss my EGC biopsy. The garage door still will not shut and the newspaper boy destroyed my alarm sign.

I did get some good news in the Sorority. I beat Sims 2 Castaway. Found a perfect black dress that I can fit. And I have made some new friends. My sleep study proved that I do not have Sleep Apnea. That picture is of me after I was connected to the computer thigamajig.

I guess.... That I am just peachy.

If it is Not One Thing.....

I had some news. In the last two weeks I have met with two of my doctors.

First, my GP was alarmed at the amount of weight that I have gained since the last time I met with her. She sent me for a glucose test since diabetes runs in my family and I have been experiencing symptoms that led her to order the test. This week, I met with my sleep disorder specialist. He was equally alarmed at my wieght gain. He said that it is "highly unusual" for someone to gain weight while on the sleep therapy drug.

There goes those phrases that doctor's use -- those codes. I have been thinking about this phrase for several days. "Highly unusual" Me thinks that itnis code for 'something is seriously wrong.' Everyone else lost weight while taking this drug. Then he says that if I have pre-diabetes I must immediately come off the drug. I went to the Net for some insight. Found a few strings that discussed the relationship of certain sleep medications that cause diabetes, pancreatitis and acute pancreatitis. Of course.....

My Line Sister used to say all of the time. "If it is not One Thing it is Ten!

So you are probably wondering, well how much weight have you gained. Hmmm.... I started tracking my weight in April because I thought I was going crazy. I have gained 18 pounds from March 15 to June 15. More than twenty since last year when I started the medicine. The sleep doctor told me to lose weight. Like I haven't noticed....

Like I can reasonably fit my clothes or my SHOES. I mean seriously. Is he joking? Losing weight is always on my mind.

So, I call Steelcurtain, with whom I have been having friendly conversations lately and I asked him to help me lose weight. He told me to stop drinking. What the Dish Network Service....

Yes, I believe that having Dish Network Service is like living in Hell. A Hell where everything is my error. It could be that my phone line is outdated. So I have AT&T come out and upgrade the 1950 era lines. Or it could be that there is something wrong with the line.

So, I install a brand new line dedicated to the receiver. Or it could be that my DSL filter is not working.

So, I purchase new ones from Radio Shack and the salesperson suggests that nothing will make the Dish receiver work better.

Or (this is the best one yet - heard it last week) it could be that I picked up the phone after the Dish Receiver attempted to call the Dish system and heard the announcement that you hear when you call a bad number. You know... "check the number and try again..."

Now, have you EVER heard of a time where if the extension was picked up the phone connection was interrupted or otherwise not connected? Neither have I. But Dish Network has trained all of its Indian representatives to suggest that everything that could possibly or remotely be your fault, is the reason why the Dish receiver will not order PPV movies or anything else. AND you have to pay the $2 fee to order a PPV over the phone. And if you want a tech to come out and verify that the stupid foreign made receiver is INDEED calling the wrong number, YOU must pay $55.00. Because the warranty has elapsed. AND if it is broken, you must pay for the S&H fee to receive a new one. I HATE CALL CENTERS.

But I am off topic...And losing my vodka induced feelings of euphoria. I begged Steelcurtain to take the vodka and rum in my house. He refused -- actually suggested that I have willpower. As I draft this blog entry, completely blitzed on Vodka and Dr. Pepper.......

Not to mention the neighbor that works as a bartender and turned me onto this great rum with a hint of vanilla that is $10 cheaper than Captain Morgan (which I despise) and so smooth that I forgot what it is named..... I decided to scoff at his suggestion that I stop drinking... Perhaps, when the bottle is empty....... Besides a friend is turning 30 tomorrow. I wonder "What was he thinking."

Well, I am going to have to do a few things differently.

First, I joined this site.

My Member name is Ibrizzy (I know, I forgot the "F") Since I have already been working out and watching what I eat - I am not sure what else can be done.

Entry for May 16, 2007

The other day a friend of mine – maybe not a good friend – told me that I was evil. Can you believe that? But perhaps it explains why so many crazy things happen to me.

Well anyway she called me evil because of a peculiar habit of mine. I like to imagine horrible things will happen to people that I dislike.

It all started in college. My anthropology instructor taught our class about a Native American tribe that he had studied. This tribe was worth study because of the very low rates of violence within its community. The research determined that the culture experienced their conflict in their dreams. So if David angered John by sleeping with his girlfriend, John would not beat him to a pulp he would simply take a nap. During the nap, he and David would find themselves in a life and death struggle. I found that the technique was very helpful for me in getting over my ex-boyfriend. The break-up was uneventful. No yelling or screaming. No calling our friends and telling horrible stories about each other. No drive-bys, harassing phone calls or stalking. None of that. Well none of that in reality.

In my dreams I kicked his ass. I shot at him. I suddenly knew martial arts and Kung-Fu’d his face. I cut off all of his hair (he had this fear of baldness). I may have beheaded him once. And this went on for years. It was strange actually.

I didn’t start having the dreams until about two years after we stopped seeing each other. A few years later, they were occurring less frequently and less violent. In think the change was due to the annoying habit of our mutual friends to inform me of his activities. Like the guy who told me that he hasn’t changed a bit and cheats on his wife. Or the gal who told me that he was still trying to get other people to do his work.

As the years went by, I would see him and he would try to talk to me. Tell me about his life and generally be a friend. In those dreams, I would still yell at him and slam doors in his face but I stopped trying to kill him. I stopped having dreams about him a few years ago. Then suddenly at the end of last year they came back. But this time he was apologizing to me. I told my friends about these new dreams and one person told me to accept his apology so that I could finally move on. I thought that I had moved on…. So the last time I dreamed of him, I did just that. Accepted the apology for being an absolute ass and told him goodbye.

Well since my dreams were such great places to exercise my complete rage, I decided to use my dreams to express my complete frustrations. I looked forward to going to bed and seeing supervisors there. I would do a great job that they would not acknowledge then i would drive my boss's car and crash it.

Of course, annoying group members found themselves in my dreams. Don’t you hate group work as an academic exercise? Seriously. I have been taking graduate classes off and on and one thing remains constant. Group work drives me nuts. I am not referring to the people that do not do anything. They don’t bother me. But the people who insist on looking at your notes to see what you have done, who want to meet all the time for updates or want all the group members to send to person (him/her) their information so that person can compile it. Those f()ckers drive me nuts. And in my dreams, I get them back by secretly damaging their computers, sending email viruses and becoming chummy with the instructor. I eat sloppy when we meet and spill food bits on their papers.

But guess what? Come on ….. My dreams…. My dreams are gone. They are freaking gone. Wanna know why?

Because of my “Lilly Monster medicine” I sleep but I do not dream. The funny thing is that we dream just before we are waking up not during our deep sleep phase. The medicine is designed to put me in the deep sleep phase whereas without it I sleep lightly all night long and have great tension releasing dreams.

In the absence of dreams I have started expressing my anger out loud. I say things like, “I hope she breaks her arm so that I don’t have to deal with her next week.” Or, “I was hoping that he got food poisoning so he wouldn’t arrive at work.” Once I suggested that if there were a fund being collected to quickly get rid of press whores who claim to be leaders but are peddling their influence for media attention, then I had two dollars for it. At that point my friend called me “evil.”

i want my dreams back. They were not all violent and they kept me from saying evil things. The picture up top is of my dream closet full of shoes.

View this clip to hear what the "leaders" that I want taken out