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My complicated relationship just got more complicated

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I may have to break-down and end my relationship with my friend. She has a video on the interwebs here She is competing to become the Face of Fox in our hometown. If you click on the link, you will see her goofball audition tape.

She has an infectious charm and personality. But she keeps leaving the cabinet and cupboard doors open after she retrieves bowls or crackers. And can't she see that the water pitcher needs to be filled???? Guh.

I am not sure that I can maintain a FB relationship with a pseudo-celebrity

I am so clever

Friday, August 21, 2009

Look what I made.....

Take four afro-picks

One wooden extenstion pole. I sawed one of the connectors in half. A piece of scrap plywood. a few wooden screws and washers

I have made my own set of wool combs.

this is a professionally crafted comb

These are my versions

Perception is 9/10ths of Hilarious

Monday, August 17, 2009

I haven't written in some time.
It is summer. I get lazy. Of course, there have been loads of funny stuff happening around me to report. I just haven't sat down to update all of you.
First there is the issue of my sexuality

Last week during lunch a friend told me, "I didn't know you were a lesbian."
Well, neither did I.

I looked at her and responded. "I am not."
Not to be corrected, she reminded me that according to my Facebook status I am in a complicated relationship. She previewed the profile of my complicated partner and learned that she was a female.
Facebook has turned spying into a social activity.

I was not sure what to say.
It wasn't the first time I was dumbstruck when it came to my sexuality.

There was that time in Akron when a lesbian and I became great friends. That is until after a long night of commiserating about my single status she said, "Have you ever thought maybe you do not have a boyfriend because you are not supposed to have one?"

I got it then. All the gifts she had purchased for me when I moved were not housewarming gifts at all. We grew apart and lost touch but her words haunted me for years. I shared the story with a gay friend and he said, "Girl, ain't nothing about you - lesbian." With his affirmation I endured celibacy.

Here I was, five years since that conversation and my friend is looking at me from across the table waiting for an explanation.

On my profile, it used to indicate that I was single and looking. I would have never considered Facebook to be a dating site had it not been for men contacting me about dates. Men I knew from decades prior were telling me that they always thought I had been cute. Nice. Would have made High School a lot more bearable if some guy would have admitted that I was cute and ignored the fact that I was a bit of a nerd.
Seriously. I dated a guy who attended another high school. He was schooled by my classmates that he should dump me because I was eccentric.

Moving into the 21st century.

Between Facebook recommending friends to me and friends hitting on my through Facebook, I was feeling a little overwhelmed. I finally started flirting back with an old college acquaintance. It was fun but I was still receiving flirts from other men.

Is it cheating when you are being poked by other men on Facebook? Are you dating if it started with a poke on Facebook?

I determined that if I list myself as "in a relationship" the flirtations would stop.

My new male companion ignored my relationship confirmation request. I guess it was too early.
I moved on and I am listed as being in a complicated relationship with a friend.

That friend confirmed our "complicated relationship."

I have decided to embrace my complicated heterosexual relationship with a female. Let Facebook maintain its archaic definitions and let people assume what they will.
It is all hilarious to me.

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