No Slimy Tracks For Me

This week's prompt for GBE 2, Upset, had triggered so many thoughts.
I looked up many definitions of the word for inspiration.
I reviewed my week for issues that had upset me.
Then it came to me like a cold front.
For the past few weeks, I have heard again and again.

What lovely weather this is

or

This could be the warmest winter in decades

or

I love this weather.

I want you to know that this weather is very UPSETTING to me.
Why, WHY you ask?
because a warm winter warns of Sluggowar 2012 in the Frizzy garden.

Hey, did you know that?
☹Slugs remain active in 41° F. Active. Meaning reproducing. Meaning eating vegetable matter.
☹Number of eggs one gray garden slug can lie in a year: 400. Hundreds of baby snails could be hatching everyday the weather remains above average.
☹As hermaphrodites, slugs have both male and female sex organs which allow any two to mate.That is nasty and means more slug eggs.
☹Many predators-birds, squirrels, and mice stay away from slugs and snails because of their horrible taste.
☹Slugs are territorial and will attack caterpillars and other slug “intruders.” Slugs are the bullies of the garden pests?
☹When slugs’ teeth wear out new rows move forward and replace them, conveyor-belt style.
☹Favorite foods include: strawberries, leafy plants, and some root vegetables.Yeah, my poor berries and greens. Have you ever halved a cabbage only to find a slug in its center?
☹A small slug can eat as much as it weighs sometimes twice that amount in one night.
☹Only 5% of the slug population appears above ground at any time. This fact makes me feel icky

Those vile things are reproducing. Right now. Right now in my garden.Slug on slug sex.

a dewy dampness–

morning sunshine reflects

in slimy tracks

All I can do is try to turn over the soil when it warms up so that the next time it freezes, the frost will zap slug eggs.

I have to begin my anti-slug campaign early if I expect to harvest my strawberries this Spring. And my collards, cabbages and lettuce, What will become of them???? I must work quickly.

My checklist
1. Collect egg shells. Sprinkle them on the garden all Winter
2. Use beer to attract and drown slugs
3. Use pitchfork or rake to turn over soil
4. Find the pool supply stuff my Dad uses to "guillotine" them
5. Collect coffee grounds to place around the strawberry patch

I am heading to the garden store this week to get started.

On a bright side, this week's prompt made me think of one of my favorite poems
I Meant To Do My Work Today
by Richard LeGallienne
I meant to do my work today,
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.
And the wind went sighing over the land,
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand,
So what could I do but laugh and go?

Man's Charm is Hardness

I can't get enough of these subject headings from my SPAM folder. And neither will you. We are entering the final stretch of Winter's grasp. Just a few more weeks.

I have finally discovered one of the sources of my sleeping problems.

Each night, I find myself wide awake at 5:20 am. Every freaking day. 
My alarm sounds at 6:00 am. I thought that maybe, my body was attempting to slowly awaken. Why it did this, I did not know. I just wanted it to stop. Yet everyday, I blink my eyes open turn to the right and check just to be sure. And I see it.
Greeting me like a lover.
5:20 a.m. 
Each morning One could hear me exclaim, "DAMMIT, not again."

One would think that I would just get up and start my morning workout. One would be a fool.

I want all the sleep to which I am entitled. I sacrifice quite a bit by turning off my lamp and/or TV at 10 pm each night. I can't discuss any show that airs after 10 pm with my friends unless I catch it on Hulu.
Last year, all of my favorite shows aired during the adult time slot. This year, I have no favorite TV shows. Changing satellite companies took away the DVR in my bedroom. Sigh. I miss the DVR in my bedroom. I stopped frequenting the living room in order to reduce the possibility of moving my yarn stash and bags of WIPs into it and creating a living monster. Does the living room really need the only DVR?

Although the cat might like yarn all over the couches. It would add interest to the cat hair. Speaking of cats, I miss Fattie Cat. Sigh.

The neighbor's outdoor cat has his winter coat. With his black fur, he looks like a bowling ball. I will try to capture him on film. He is mostly tame. Cept when he shits in my garden or flower beds.Then he is a feral monster.

Mentioning the garden. I have been advised that I must start applying anti-slug measures. HOW? The snow still covers the ground. Does anyone know? This video didn't tell me anything...
Back to that which wakens me every morning at 5:20 A freaking M. This morning I solved the mystery.
Imagine this each morning. Yes. That. Horrible. Sound.
Someone running their car. Their noisy car. Since I don't have the energy or the inclination to look out the window into the dark morning and locate the offending vehicle and do whatever with the information, I will use the blog to express my feelings.

I hate you whoever you are. And I HATE your car, too.

Garden tragedies

I am still finding slugs in my garden. I had the unfortunate task of cleaning up my compost bin this weekend and there they were. 

I bet I have confused you with "Clean up" and "compost bin."

A few years back, I hired a guy (who would eventually prove to be a drunk)  to make for me a composting area.  He strung some chicken wire and some stakes.  It never worked for me.  He should have used sturdier stakes and heavier gauge wire.  A door would have been nice.  The thing collapsed. 
Do-It-Yourself projects hate me.   I bought a wire mesh bin.   
I wanted to purchase a plastic one. I could not afford it at the store.  Maybe I will order one from the Net.


I had to clean up the oversized composting staging area.  That is the best description that I have for it.  Under the debris, I found slugs and ready made compost.  I moved the un-composted material to my original homemade composter- an old pallet I found.  Unfortunately the pallet has four sides. I have to lift everything into it and use the pitchfork to move the material. Back breaking work.
I have a lively process for composting.  At the beginning of the garden season, I move all of last year's partial compost to cover the second bin.  I stir the crap up. I usually find pay dirt at the bottom.   I shovel the compost into the wheelbarrow and throw the current years compost into the cleaned out bin.  I am sure there is an easier way.  Maybe. ..
Back to the slugs....

So I picked them up and placed them onto the driveway to give the birds a slimey snack.  I put the Bug Getta near them to experiment.  The packaging says that the bait will attract the slugs.  In my experiment, the slugs slimed their way across the driveway with no inclination toward the slug bait.  Waste of money.  I found this cartoon.

Look at the gnome.  He appears very reflective as he perches on the pot of chives. 
jjj

I think the gnome has given up. Or he has decided to take a different approach.  I stared at him for some time, trying to imagine his thoughts.  What do you think?

Gardening and Beer

Hello Spring. These are the flowers that bloomed last week.  I am about two weeks behind in my blog updates. Unfortunately, funny stuff happens to me so often that I do not always have the time to stop and blog about it.  My dianthus. 

s

Another daisy variety. I have many in the garden.  This one is called goblin. 

More dianthus.  I love these flowers they will bloom all spring and summer for me as long as I remember to deadhead or shear them. 

I have pink, red and pale pink. 

;;

All of my okra plants are gone.  I wish that I had noticed it earlier.  I would have realized that slugs had taken over my garden. I did not and I lost a lot of strawberries.  I can plant another okra plant but the strawberries are the real crime.  

I poured sand around my other vegetables.  A twitter friend told me about using fleece to ward against slugs.  I will try that too.  

I have tried the beer trick. I bought a little slug trap that looked like a frog and held the beer.  I just can't keep beer in the fridge long enough to remember to place some in a cup and in the garden.  Seems like a waste of good beer.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Writing of beer, I missed the World Expo of Beer in Frankenmuth MI because the forecast said rain.  Oh how I missed it.  I hope there will be more beer festivals in the area.   My current favorite beer is Summer Shandy by Leinenkugel.  Yummy.  I really need to stop drinking wheat beer but there isn't much gluten free beer out there readily available.  So I live with the heartburn. 

Dude brought me some Samuel Adams beer the other day. I scoffed at him.  What do Easterners know about beer? I am a Midwestern girl and I want Midwestern beer.  

I didn't drink it on principle.  

The alpaca fleece that I have is now infested with moths.  It is sad really.  It did not occur to me that moths would find the fleece tasty.  You should have seen my face when I pulled the fleece out of the garage.  Ok.

I know what you are thinking. Why in the world would I store alpaca fleece in the garage.  

I don't know.

It was stupid.

So I had to track down a friend with an empty deep freezer.  Not easy.... Not easy at all.

She has agreed to plug it in so that I can freeze the fleece and kills the moths.  I guess that I have to allow it to thaw and then freeze it again to kill any left over eggs.  

Once the freezing process is complete, I might try cleaning and carding it.  

Or I might not.

I ran into the Weaver's Guild this weekend.  They were talking crazy to me.  Talking about me buying spinning wheels and carding machines for the alpaca that I have.  And joining the guild.  In our little town we have a Weaver's Guild, a Spinner's Guild, Knitting guilds (2) and a crochet guild. 

So many guilds and I have to work all day.