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I am clearly not in charge

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Today, I embarrassed a young man.  While standing near the stairwell of a busy college library, I informed a young man about 20 feet away who was being escorted by a gaggle of women, that his pants were falling down and that he should pull them up.
Everyone stopped to look at him. 
I thanked him after he pulled them up.  

Earliar today, a student explained to me that his sweatpants fell below his waist due to the missing string in the waistband.  I shared with him the well-known trick of tying the ends of the waistband string together before washing the athletic wear.  He thanked me for the tip.

I was on a role until I tried to give blood.  
After two very painful pinpricks the attendant handed to me a memo about high iron foods.
I have been taking ferrous sulfate for more than two months. Meaning that I have had constipation for more than two months.  In response, I must take magnesium sulfate to alleviate the bowel rocks.  That is a lot of sulfate and still I have low iron and rock hard stools.  

Just keep living....

I cannot always control my health, the waistband of young people and I certainly cannot control my cat.  
When Lilcat pissed onto my wood floor, I reallocated some budget categories to take her to the vet. I was okay with replacing pee soaked cushions of the outdoor furniture but not a ruined living room floor.

I borrowed the cat kennel from the neighbor.  Even though she had never seen it before, she would not go near it.  It was as if she knew its purpose.  

It took some maneuvering but I got her in the kennel.  She whined and moaned the entire five blocks to the vet.

The vet needed to collect a urine sample to diagnose a feline UTI.  

He explained that the infection can lead to frequent urination.  The cat pees where ever she is because she can not make it to the litter box.  He said that sometimes cats associate the pain of urinating with the litter box and will piss outside of it for relief. Lilcat was also a shy kitty.  She would not use the box if anyone was within earshot.  Mabye the UTI made her nervous. 

Either way, I have a cat peeing on my hardwood floor.  

funny pictures of cats with captionsI left her there for the entire day. 
She refused to pee for the Vet.  He had to use a syringe to collect the urine. I am sure that he charged me for that.
Damn cat.
Pees on my floor but not for the doctor.
Poor Lilcat not only had an infection but she had crystals in her urine.
Doctor prescribes a special diet from which there can be no deviation.

Now, I have never strictly followed a diet in my life.  

This is how the conversations went.

She will need to eat the special diet food and nothing else. ~ Dr. Vet

You do not understand what you are asking me to do. ~ Frizzy

If she eats anything else, it will lessen the effect of the medicine. ~ Dr. Vet with just a little bit of gray.
What about her treats? She gets treats everyday. You cannot ask me to take away her treats  ~ Flirty Frizzy

At this point one of the nurse excuses herself to laugh.  I would not be moved on this issue.  These cats are plotting against me as it is. I cannot just change their culinary lifestlye without considering the effect on me and my furniture.

Explain the treats to me. ~ Dr. Cute Vet

 She gets a pouch every night between 3 and 4 am and on Fridays she receives a cruchy kitty treats.  There will be ramifications if there are no treats~ "I love my cat"   Frizzy

I am actually talking about both of my cats.  Each will have to eat the special diet food. 

Well, what would happen if there were no treats? ~  Dr. Vet in a calming voice

She will mew and mew and sit herself by the bathroom door and mew at me.  She will whine and follow me around until I give her the treat.  You cannot ask me to do this. Oh Gawd. What if she gets angry and pees on my furniture?  ~ Almost hysterical Frizzy

Well, you can feed her the cat food from your hand. She will think they are her treats.  ~ Smart Ass Dr. Vet

No, that will not work.  She must hear the sound of the pouch being opened.  ~ Frizzy " I know my cat"

I understand, my wife and I have five cats.  But we want Lilcat to get better. Don't we?  ~ Not cute anymore married Dr. Vet

By now, the nurse has returned. She informs us that the medicine food is available in pouch and canned form.  

We both express a sigh of relief.  
Except I now realize that I am a crazy cat lady.  

I can't handle the stress of any more cats. Lilcat will surely be my last

Crafty Update
I am still working on the Ruana.  I had to order yarn from three different online vendors.  One of the colors that I am using is discontinued and another was named Maroon under two different colorway numbers.  The discontinued yarn seems to have been given two colorway numbers as well.  I have had to order by name and not number.  Argh.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The remains of a once proud fat bird.  Sometimes, I feel guilty about keeping a bird feeder with so many stray cats in my neighborhood.

 I know cats can be ruthless predators, so when I found a bat in my bathroom, I expected the house cats to handle it.

Oh.  You don't know about the bat, do you?

Two weeks ago, I saw that the bath shelf  behind the tub was dark as if full of mold and dirt.  I exited the tub and reentered with my robe. 
I moved the product stand to clean behind it.  For some reason, I am the only one who bothers to clean under the shelf.
I saw what looked like a pile of hair.   I became annoyed.
Then if flew at me.

I ran out of the bathroom.  Stood in the middle of the upstairs hallway and started screaming.  Thirty seconds elapsed before my roomie deigned to check on me.
Later she would tell me that she thought I had been yelling about the hair she had left in the tub after her shower.

She also told me that I began stuttering while I tried to tell her about the bat.

I can only imagine.
Thinking that I must have mistaken the bat for a common household spider, she entered the bathroom.

Do you see it??????
She looked in the bathroom.

There are any number of immediate responses to finding a bat in your bathroom.
I began calling male relatives.  
My roomie - updated her Facebook status.  
While I was calling the neighbor to send her husband over to remove the bat she was replying to comments. The husband was out of town but she said that after the kids were finished with choir practice she would help me to remove the bat. 
I went to the houses of other neighbors and asked wives if their husbands were free and roomie was set up her video camera.  
When I got back to the house, we reasoned that the cats would catch the bat. 

The cats would not find the bat.
If you can see the video you may be able to hear me in the background yelling at my cousin for suggesting that I hire a pest remover. 
Finally, she agreed to take care of the bat.
In this video she is Searching for the pest
We found the bat hanging from the silk flower arrangement. 

After much giggling, our efforts resulted in a

A few minutes later, my neighbor arrived at the door with both her kids in tow, a net and her own video camera.

I guess, I was the odd one. 

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