Monday, January 7, 2008

Drafty

Projects

I was absent during the last month of 2007. I had good reason. I wasn't sleeping. Too much energy to type a blog. I had two papers to complete. I was working on a report for work. My girlfriend needed me for a few days. I babysat my 8 year-old nephew for five days. He took over the computer. By Sunday the 6th, I was exhausted. I hadn't slept at all Saturday night so I decided to stay in bed all day. I tried to write a blog but I was Funky.

I would not advise that you do this. I had clothes to wash. My hair resembled a tumbleweed. I needed to dust and vacuum. But what really bothered me.

What really got under my skin.... Is this.

One day, I told my nephew to tie his shoes. He tucked his laces inside of his boots. I said with a chuckle, "That is not tying your shoes, that is hiding your laces." He informed me that he did not know how to tie his shoes. So for five days, I tied his shoes for him. My roommate, suggested that I teach him the bunny-rabbit method. I reasoned with her that if he doesn't know how to tie his shoes by now, I am not going to try to teach him. It was easier just to tie them myself. When his father picked him up, I asked about the shoe thing. He was astonished. He declared that "of course," he knew how to tie his shoes. Then he asked, "Are you telling me that you have been tying his shoes all week?" I pitifully answered, "yes."

I learned from friends that you can't pass kindergarten without tying your shoes. That little boy tricked me and I was too tired to catch it. His father told me that he had been "Playing" me. I guess, he really wasn't depressed from doing his homework and those water works were designed soften me. it worked. When he started crying while doing his homework, I sent him to play. Heck, I bought him a video game because I felt bad for him. I figured that he was stressed out....... I told his father not to send children to me with homework to complete.

Besides my inability to effectively watch a minor child, I have had a lot of trouble with electric devices.

first, there is the garage door. Every winter it acts a fool. it will not shut. As if some imaginary child is standing under it. Imagine, me in my cold car pressing the opener ten, maybe 12 times before I give up, exit the car and shut it from inside the garage. Oh, should I just leave it open? Right, the last time that happened, a stray cat got caught in there and I am now paying $300 in emergency room bills. After much cursing and pressing, I learned that some sequences of button pressing will permit the door to shut. At this point, you are probably asking, "Why didn't you read the manual or call someone?" If you have read my blog for long, then you know that I am not a manual reader. Service calls start at $85 and I can just shut the door from the inside for that much. Anyway, if I press the little button then the big button or is it the other way around... not sure but it will eventually close on its own.

Second, was electric blanket. I noticed this winter that if I lay on one side of my bed I feel a draft on my face. If I lay on the other side then there is no draft. I also noticed that the other side of the bed is colder. I figured this out by kicking my foot over to the right side and it was warm while the left foot was not. Hmmmmm. My $90 electric Sunbeam blanket was broken. I was hurt. it has dual controls. I tried everything. I turned the left side up, turned the right side down. turned it off, Turned it back on. Nothing worked. then I unplugged it. That worked. I bet that advice was in the manual. Now, I just have to figure out where the draft begins, since it clearly ends at my mattress.

Writing of drafts. I took my new car into the dealership because I could not figure out the whole "Auto" heat feature. I drove to 2.5 hours away and I was freezing during most of the car ride. I couldn't understand why the car did not compensate for the cold. I carpooled and I was embarrassed that the passenger kept remarking how cold she was. New car, cold car. The service guy at that dealership told me that because of some stupid law, there must always be a flow of fresh air into the car. Seriously. the flow of fresh air, is making my legs freeze, is not picked up by the car's internal thermostat and is pissing me off.

Here is your tour of my chilly, periwinkle Vue.

Here she is. Periwinkle. So much for these vents. Go Browns!