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Sunday, September 25, 2011

This week's GBE2 word prompt is judgment. I had been working on this entry for a few days and realized that it expresses several definitions of judgment.

judgment: An assertion of something believed. (Life is better with chemistry)
I have mentioned a few times that I am back at the gym in another attempt to shed these Paxil pounds I gained back in 2008 and the Prozac belly that followed them. (Acquiring central obesity while in a mellow mood was less satisfying that being anxious and slightly overweight). Fortunately, I have not give up on addressing my PMS and SADs . Whether it is tea, exercise, sex, or a pill, I don't want to be high strung anymore.

I work-out in the recreational center at the local university. Yes, I get sweaty and winded around the beautiful people. Young men and women between 18-24, whose bodies have not acquired the stretch marks that identify the departure of the 20's or the shift of fat that takes place just before one achieves 40 years of age. I am at that age where the simple long-arm wave or high-five gives me pause.
I will wait for you to do the visual on that one. Don't judge me, I have arm fat.

judgment - the cognitive process of reaching a decision or drawing conclusions (the great bag search of 2011)

After some consideration, I realized that this new routine required a new gym bag.
I have been researching gym bags for the past two weeks.
Selecting the correct gym bag requires careful consideration. You would not believe the technology that goes into a simple gym bag.
  1. Ventilated shoe pocket (Keeps dirty shoes from my wet clothes)
  2. anti-microbial pocket (to keep wet clothes from becoming smelly wet clothes)
  3. Water bottle holder (There's nothing worse that making that 200 yard walk from the car to the gym floor only to realize that I forgot my water bottle)
  4. Pocket for mp3 player and wallet (The extra pocket for the items which individually cost more than the bag)
  5. U shaped opening (Hot dog! Opens up like a suitcase)
  6. Durable self repairing zipper (Self-repairing means that if the zipper spreads open below the slider, you can simply pull the zipper back down to reseal the teeth.; I had to research that one)
  7. Padded shoulder strap (The bag be heavy, yo)
  8. Large enough to hold a towel, makeup bag and shower kit (I can work-out longer if I head straight to work)
  9. Lots of handles (Makes it easier to pull out of the locker)

Finally, armed with a new gym bag I am ready to enter the locker room.
funny graphs - Sweat Everywhere
see more Funny Graphs

judgment - the act of judging or assessing a person, situation or event (who knew that Co-eds find their nudity awkward)
Since the gym added more shower stalls with curtains, I decided to shower on site again.
I have a lot of quiet time while showering, dressing, and grooming in the ladies' locker room. Time to people watch.

First, I noticed a sort of compulsive mirror behavior while I applied my makeup. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot women checking the mirror just before heading to the gym floor to straighten their hair. I don't see the point. The men are quite busy doing their walking squats and looking at themselves in the mirror in front of the weight rack.

The stuff I witness in the lockerroom is also quite interesting.
It baffles me to observe students wearing shower shoes to class, around campus, and to work but not in the locker room. Not even in the shower. I continue to observe.

These same young people who wear shoes that cost less than my nail polish will shower barefoot AND in their underwear or swim suit. Why so bashful? I wonder why they just don't wait for one of the curtained stalls. I have see them when they wear tights as pants. I have see them underestimate the elasticity of spandex. I don't understand the modesty.
Once showered and barely dry I have seen some women ☛Get dressed in the bathroom stall (still barefooted). This type of modesty seems so silly. There are rows of lockers behind which one can hide.

In my opinion, these these gym guests should purchase shower towels with velcro with or without straps
or a larger super absorbency towel.

judgment: criticism or censure (that is how hand,foot, and mouth disease is spread)

Oh and the best part. The behavior that makes me shake my head every day I visit the gym.
Not washing hands after getting dressed in the bathroom stall.
That makes me shudder. So nasty. Not using the stall in the way in which it was intended doesn't preclude the previous occupant from touching the handles and knobs after a BM. They don't even stop at the hand sanitizer station. I on the other hand wash my hands before leaving the gym as a general rule.

judgementjudgment - an opinion formed by judging something (I get the last laugh)
Now, I shall admit to my own behavior. Working out at the campus gym means that me and my body are continuing to age and sag while the students return each year younger and firmer. To assert myself I like to fart before I head out onto the floor.
A really big one but silent. I like to leave them unsuspecting, my final judgment.


Joyce Lansky said...

In terms of modesty, it all goes back to the way we were raised. Some of us grew up in homes where you didn't show your body, so changing in front of strangers is awkward.


Anonymous said...

Have I told you lately that I love you? If not, I'm saying it right now. I lovity-love-love you.

I hated showering in junior high and high school. The junior high shower room was one big open room with shower spigots everywhere--yeah, 7th and 8th graders won't hate that. What the hell were they thinking when they designed that?! In high school, there were both the huge open shower room, as well as curtained stalls, but of course, with only a few minutes before the bell rang, waiting for a private shower wasn't always an option.

I don't judge much, but folks who don't wash their hands? Super-icky. I have moms at the daycare who change their babies before they leave sometimes and then don't wash their hands. It absolutely grosses me out.

PS: I have arm-flab, too. Whatever.

The Frizzy Hooker said...

@joyce - That is true. It still makes me giggle. Wanna see my boobs?
(.)(.) there you go
@Wordnerd Thanks. I have to admit that without the curtains I would just go home to shower

grains of sand said...

Oh, this was so much fun to read, thank you for the cinematic words!

Are you sure you were in the womens locker room? Barefoot in the stall and bypassing the hand sanitizer is a mans thing, as well as the passing of gas. Amongst men this is known as "the trifecta" of manhood!

A sincere thanks for the smile :) Marc

Jo said...

Seriously brought back memories of the school showers! UGH...I hated those and I hated gym.
But talk about a judging situation, the perfect girls would walk around naked dragging their towels and those of us who are normal, flaws and all, would wrap up like a mummy and never turn to face the center of the giant open room! We were totally judged! Freaks, I believe is the word the pretties called the rest of us.

Laura Rogers said...

You have me giggling. I like the last judgement and the last laugh on the fart..... Ha so funny and so many of us do it....

Anonymous said...

I don't fear judgment til I get to the gym door and then I execute an abrupt about face and get the hell out of there.

The Frizzy Hooker said...

Ha ha
@grainsofsand I have never been in a men's lockerroom. I am intrigued.
@jo noone took showers when I was in highschool. 10 minutes was simply not enough time.

Kathy said...

I absolutely hated school showers with a capital S!! Great post.


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