Been A Long Diet

Well

It has been forever since I have written a proper blog.  The creative writing class that I took during the spring  made me less likely to blog.

In the class, I had to write small autobiographical stories based on techniques and memory tricks.  I would post them to the online forum and my classmates would add commas.  I am terrible with commas, proper nouns and balancing metaphors.  I had to enlist the aid of an editor.   At first I thought that writing a blog and an autobiographical short story would be vastly different.  I wrote poorly and bored my reader.

Here is an excerpt of my fairy tale.

 

            Once a upon a time, a young family called Hooker with two little girls moved to a modern  castle in the Land of Toledo.  The two little girls fought and argued, disappointing their mother whose relationship with her own sister was stronger than any in the world.  One day the mother called the little girls outside to wave goodbye to their father. The dutiful girls said their goodbyes and continued to live with their mother in the castle.  They had no reason to miss him as he visited regularly. 

 

Awful. I know. 

In this story I wrote about my work experiences.

 

When I began my job, 4 and ½ years ago, there was nothing but an outline of responsibilities and forms.  I had sought training, learned new techniques, adopted curriculum and consulted with experts to improve outcomes.  While I was indulged, my position was ultimately a support function for an essential position in the program.  I felt powerless the day I was overruled during a staff meeting because my suggestion while logical and valid was not time efficient.  At this meeting, I finally understood that my position was the undesired portion of a pivotal function within the program.  There were other occasions where my advice or recommendations were discounted because of tradition or expediency despite it being the best response for the students that we served.  This began a conflict.  The program functioned as a 30 year old machine maintained by mechanics who ignored 30 years of innovation.  Who patronized the new mechanics with their fancy tools and resources by offering to them a doughnut, cup of coffee, and a pat on the head.

 

After my editor helped me with this she suggested that I try humor: 

 

That was when I began to perform well in the course. 

I wrote about my grandfather and his dementia. I wrote about trying to train cats. I wrote about tormenting my little sister with a tub of butter.  I wrote about creating handmade masterpieces that were hidden in basements by their recipients.  I wrote about  roommates, sex and, … well, you read some of it in a previous post.    

I got an A in that course.

 

Since I have written on this wall. Many things have occurred.  I have gained 15 pounds.  That means two dress sizes.  I love it when people pretend not to notice don’t you? I mention that I am overweight and how it is driving me crazy and I get responses like “you are not fat. You are fine” Sometimes my revelation is met with surprise.   I have stated that my weight gain is out of control and I can not figure out its source and I am matter-of-factly told that I am probably just eating too much. 

I want you to think about that for just a moment.  Wouldn’t you have ALREADY RULED THAT OUT. I am 5 4” and I am tipping almost 200 lbs.  I am not obese.  I can get away with saying “thick” with my Black peers but I am not happy.

I am being successfully treating for narcolepsy, SADS, hypothyroidism and allergic rhinitis.  Each of my doctors say that I should not be gaining weight with the treatments.  They are concerned. 

In the 21st Century, we members of what might be the fattest country in the world have access to gazillions of datum related to calories, fat content, carbs and fiber.  There is a new diet on the best seller list each quarter.  Our celebrities are hounded for their diet secrets and ridiculed for the weight gain.  I am a moderately intelligent woman who has taken advantage of my job’s wellness program, which for me includes a coach and an exercise program.  I would freaking just admit it if I were simply overeating………………

 

So

I have had to alter something in my life with my extra baggage.  I got over being completely upset over my belly touching my thighs when I use the bathroom.  I use objects to scratch my back.  I have discovered body shapers. I eat healthy snacks.  I wear more jewelry and make-up.  I look longingly at my size 7 shoe collection.  I can only wear 7 ½’s now. 

I taught myself to knit and walk at the same time.

Okay, you probably read that sentence twice. 

 I found that I can get a moderate exercise routine in while completing some of my craft projects.  No, I do not knit and walk in public although, I might…..

I am determined to get my work-out where ever and when ever I can. 

I wear a pedometer to track my steps each day.  I attend line dancing classes (which is a guaranteed 5000 steps each session.)  I use Calorie Count and a diet journal to track my food and weight.  I measure myself each week. 

I am blowing up.

I have tried reducing wheat and that only seemed to help my heartburn.  I am reducing corn products and I have discovered that corn is in everything.  It is quite sickening how much corn we eat.  I have never been a regular at fast food restaurants but I do watch how much I eat when I eat at sit-down eateries. 

I am on top of this.  But when I climb on that scale it just gives in…….

I am determined to get healthy again.

Besides, I want to try online dating and I don’t want to check “overweight” under the body type category. 

More to come.