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I am clearly not in charge

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Today, I embarrassed a young man.  While standing near the stairwell of a busy college library, I informed a young man about 20 feet away who was being escorted by a gaggle of women, that his pants were falling down and that he should pull them up.
Everyone stopped to look at him. 
I thanked him after he pulled them up.  

Earliar today, a student explained to me that his sweatpants fell below his waist due to the missing string in the waistband.  I shared with him the well-known trick of tying the ends of the waistband string together before washing the athletic wear.  He thanked me for the tip.

I was on a role until I tried to give blood.  
After two very painful pinpricks the attendant handed to me a memo about high iron foods.
I have been taking ferrous sulfate for more than two months. Meaning that I have had constipation for more than two months.  In response, I must take magnesium sulfate to alleviate the bowel rocks.  That is a lot of sulfate and still I have low iron and rock hard stools.  

Just keep living....

I cannot always control my health, the waistband of young people and I certainly cannot control my cat.  
When Lilcat pissed onto my wood floor, I reallocated some budget categories to take her to the vet. I was okay with replacing pee soaked cushions of the outdoor furniture but not a ruined living room floor.

I borrowed the cat kennel from the neighbor.  Even though she had never seen it before, she would not go near it.  It was as if she knew its purpose.  

It took some maneuvering but I got her in the kennel.  She whined and moaned the entire five blocks to the vet.

The vet needed to collect a urine sample to diagnose a feline UTI.  

He explained that the infection can lead to frequent urination.  The cat pees where ever she is because she can not make it to the litter box.  He said that sometimes cats associate the pain of urinating with the litter box and will piss outside of it for relief. Lilcat was also a shy kitty.  She would not use the box if anyone was within earshot.  Mabye the UTI made her nervous. 

Either way, I have a cat peeing on my hardwood floor.  

funny pictures of cats with captionsI left her there for the entire day. 
She refused to pee for the Vet.  He had to use a syringe to collect the urine. I am sure that he charged me for that.
Damn cat.
Pees on my floor but not for the doctor.
Poor Lilcat not only had an infection but she had crystals in her urine.
Doctor prescribes a special diet from which there can be no deviation.

Now, I have never strictly followed a diet in my life.  

This is how the conversations went.

She will need to eat the special diet food and nothing else. ~ Dr. Vet

You do not understand what you are asking me to do. ~ Frizzy

If she eats anything else, it will lessen the effect of the medicine. ~ Dr. Vet with just a little bit of gray.
What about her treats? She gets treats everyday. You cannot ask me to take away her treats  ~ Flirty Frizzy

At this point one of the nurse excuses herself to laugh.  I would not be moved on this issue.  These cats are plotting against me as it is. I cannot just change their culinary lifestlye without considering the effect on me and my furniture.

Explain the treats to me. ~ Dr. Cute Vet

 She gets a pouch every night between 3 and 4 am and on Fridays she receives a cruchy kitty treats.  There will be ramifications if there are no treats~ "I love my cat"   Frizzy

I am actually talking about both of my cats.  Each will have to eat the special diet food. 

Well, what would happen if there were no treats? ~  Dr. Vet in a calming voice

She will mew and mew and sit herself by the bathroom door and mew at me.  She will whine and follow me around until I give her the treat.  You cannot ask me to do this. Oh Gawd. What if she gets angry and pees on my furniture?  ~ Almost hysterical Frizzy

Well, you can feed her the cat food from your hand. She will think they are her treats.  ~ Smart Ass Dr. Vet

No, that will not work.  She must hear the sound of the pouch being opened.  ~ Frizzy " I know my cat"

I understand, my wife and I have five cats.  But we want Lilcat to get better. Don't we?  ~ Not cute anymore married Dr. Vet

By now, the nurse has returned. She informs us that the medicine food is available in pouch and canned form.  

We both express a sigh of relief.  
Except I now realize that I am a crazy cat lady.  

I can't handle the stress of any more cats. Lilcat will surely be my last

Crafty Update
I am still working on the Ruana.  I had to order yarn from three different online vendors.  One of the colors that I am using is discontinued and another was named Maroon under two different colorway numbers.  The discontinued yarn seems to have been given two colorway numbers as well.  I have had to order by name and not number.  Argh.


Anonymous said...

{{{hugs}}} on the Iron issue. I constantly deal with the problem myself. Woman + vegetarian + runner = non-stop iron for me. Blech. Anyway, I take a gentle iron complex ( that doesn't cause constipation - you might give something like that a try? I take 8 of them a day while trying to build up my iron stores without any real trouble. ;)

The Frizzy Hooker said...

I failed to mention the interview with the Vet. He asked me about Lilcat being an outdoor cat. She is not. I have an enclosed porch. In the summer, I open one of the living room windows so that she and Fatcat can sunbath on the cat ledge while the housemates and I are at work. tee hee. They are not spoiled at all.

suse-the-slow-knitta & Baldyboi said...

I think the Lilcat might see that the med. pouch is not the right might have to enlist the help of a stage magician to practise sleight of hand!!

good source of iron - dried apricots, and if you eat them and drink orange juice at the same time the vit c helps your body absorb the iron better.

The Frizzy Hooker said...

Oh dear lawd
dried apricots did wonders on my lower self a few years back. I ate them like pretzels for a few days. Bad memories

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