Clumsy Meditation

I don’t like downward facing dog

I know, it seems absurd

Everyone likes Adho Mukha Svanasana

It’s a really great stretch and my butt is in the air where I can fart in peace

There is a lot of farting in yoga

My body does not move easily into all the poses. Especially the easy ones. This week the instructor guided us to rock on our bottoms into a head stand. I failed miserably. At 37 and over 150 pounds, easy stuff isn’t so easy. Child’s pose hurts my arms. Downward facing dog makes my nose run. Right now I have too much head congestion to practice mountain pose without falling.

I bought a book with yoga poses for weight loss. The bulk of the routine is Sun Salutation completed ten times. By the time I complete the routine I am drenched in sweat and a little bruised from tipping over so many times attempting the lunge prayer side twist pose.

Can you believe I joined yoga to gain better balance?

I really enjoy yoga and it gives me a good work-out. It is really relaxing during this time of year when my allergies are at their worst.

I hired a student to cover my manager’s office sits at her chair to answer the phone. Whenever I pass the office door, I smell my childhood. I get a whiff of bouncy freshness, but just a whiff because my allergies will not permit me to enjoy the smell of fabric softener for long. When the scent reaches my nose my head recalls memories of laundry day at my mother’s house. I was feeling so nostalgic one I went out and bought a laundry detergent with one of those strong scents. I had been getting weekly allergy shots for the past four years. By now I should be able wear perfume and wash with those fancy detergents. I continued to think this as I tucked and pulled at my newly laundered sheets. A few hours later, I wondered why my 300 thread count sheets felt rough and scraped against my skin causing it to crack and itch. I wondered and scratched until the morning when I cursed the nurse that administers my shots. It was worse than trying sleep with a mosquito in the room.

Imagine standing still while a wasp targets your fleshy upper-arm. Don’t watch it. Just wait for the sting because the prick of the stinger is nothing compared to the burning and irritation of the venom entering your bloodstream. Or the swollen warm sting site on your arm. Or the nagging itchy reminder for the next 12 hours at the shot site. My arm used to swell so large that I referred to it as my hamburger bum arm.

Yes, it is just like that .

I should probably mention that sometimes I think I am allergic to my yarn. I have some woolblend yarn from Turkey that makes me sneeze when I sniff it. I stopped sniffing it. I am using an Italian woolblend yarn and it works up lovely.

I have a question for you readers. I am making a baby jumper using this yarn

Don't you love the animal print bedspread. I have matching curtains.

Anywhoo, it is a self-stripping yarn that is white, pink, lt blue, blue and then white. I say that the jumper will be unisexual. My friends are insisting that even a splash of pink makes it a girl's outfit. What do you think?

Well next time I will tell you about my Kung Fu Panda adventures.