My grandfather passed away last month. The repast was held at my grandmother's home.
Oh joy for me
When everyone exhausts talking about Grandpa, his life and his death they look around for something else to talk about.
There is the casino issue on November's ballot.
There is the mayoral race.
Micheal Jackson conversations never seem to go away.
Just as the conversation picks up there is a distraction.
Some toddler runs into the room, plops down on the floor and starts crying.
That is when relatives notice that I still am motherless.
Sigh.
"Frizzy, when are you going to have kids?"
"By accident"
Then there is my younger cousin by ten years who is also brazenly childless.
She is asked the same set of questions.
"Nikki, when are you going to have kids?"
"After Frizzy."
You would have thought that we planned our counterattacks.
If only that would stop the teasing. Teasing, seriously they older women in the family tease us for being motherless. I don't understand.
My grandmother seemed to enjoy listing off and pointing out each of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren ranging from 38 to 16 months. I enjoyed pointing out that she has plenty for now.
A few weeks later, Dude visits me.
He surprises me with this gift.
Images taken from here, you can order your own clock.
Seriously.
I was so upset that I called my mother to let her know that I was dating a wacko.
After describing the clock and its packaging she says, "well, you aren't getting younger."
I felt betrayed. I thought we had an agreement. She wouldn't bother me about kids and I wouldn't bother her about her recipes.
So I guess I am going after that sweet potato pie recipe after all.
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Sigh! Different day, same question
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Labels:
cousin,
otpk,
relative
Posted by
The Frizzy Hooker
at
12:15 PM
2
comments
He is driving me insane
Friday, October 9, 2009
I would like to take a moment to write about my home life.
I have several housemates. One is very demanding.
Each morning I walk to the bathroom between 5:50 and 6:30 am. Each morning my housemate is waiting for me. He grunts at me. Sounds like “Meh.”
I usually respond, “Leave me alone.”
He is still there after I use the bathroom. I don’t understand him. He could use the bathroom before leave my bedroom. It is as if he wants to be irritated with me every single morning.
So, I end up yelling at him, "Screw you!"
I try to exit the bathroom as quickly as possible. Sometimes, I try not to check for him – to see if he is still waiting for me. When he catches my quick glance he always grunts “MEH.” Always a little louder the second time.
If I am lucky, he will be gone by the time I am ready to depart for work. I am rarely lucky. He is a sentinel. Guarding the bathroom door or guarding the stairway. I don’t know which. I just want to be left alone.
MEH
It is louder the third time. He voice rings in my ears as I scramble down the stairs to exit through the kitchen.
Sometimes, I will stop just to yell at him, “Leave me alone.”
In the evenings, I am convinced that he waits for the garage door to open before he races upstairs just so that he is at the top of the landing and the entrance to the bathroom
MEH
His grunts get pretty aggressive as the sun wanes.
Gosh, he is so annoying. He always wants a fresh glass of water. He wants me to get it for him. But it must be perfect. The correct temperate. Must be clean. Once I tried to add some lemon juice to his water. He was furious.
I just want him to leave me alone.
Yesterday, I set some water in front of him; I walked back to my bedroom and discovered that he had pushed it away from him. As if it was not good enough for him. I was so offended.
You are probably wondering why I permit this behavior in my own house. I was forced to permit him to live under my roof. He was a package deal when one of my friends came to live with me. I don’t want her to leave so I have to accept this horrible creature. She adores him. I cannot figure out why. He is so demanding.
I am constantly cleaning up after him. Demanding and messy. The spot that he guards in front of the stairs and near the bathroom is attracted to his hair. He is fastidious groomer but doesn’t pick up after himself. Gross.
MEH
That cat is driving me insane.
Every morning he wants fresh water. Every evening fresh water. Perfect water. He has his own dish in another part of the house. Why does he pester me?
He is like the brown spot in the carpet. The one you see every single day because you have to walk past it. The one you don't want to deal with...... Yes, that brown spot.
Labels:
cat,
roommate
Posted by
The Frizzy Hooker
at
6:58 AM
2
comments
Some People Stop Trying
Thursday, October 8, 2009
A few hours later, I head to the garden for fresh vegetables for my ratatouille. This is what I find in my driveway.
I was like "WTF?" Do you see how the cable is just lying in front of my garage? The cables were cut up and spliced in half. Completely unusable.
Isn't that insane. I don't have cable. I subscribe to satellite dish.
Was it a warning?
Has the recession hit us that hard?????
I called the cable company and refused to provide any personal information. Just my address and a demand that someone pick up that cable mess before I head to the gym at 6:30 am.
I just knew if I gave my name and number, someone telemarketer would add me to their "Give cable a try" campaign.
It was gone.
The cable installer must have been a lazy bugger. I know that 7:30 appointments are probably the last of the day but that was no reason for leaving his mess in my backyard the night before trash pick-up.
There was no way that I was doing his/her job and taking it out to the curb for trash pick-up.
Some people just stop trying to do it right.
I don't want to get ahead of the story.
At the gym, I had scratched myself while on the stretching mat. There was blood. Of course, I stopped stretching on the mat. Do you have any idea of how disgusting people are after they work out? And they use the stretch area but NEVER clean the (still) wet spot with the disinfectant...... The same people are picky about wiping machines but never the stretching area mat.
YUCK
I hobble over to the attendant and ask for an alcohol wipe. Yes, I felt that hobbling was very appropriate.
She tells me that she is required to complete an incident report.
I know, right?
While waiting for her to find the forms. I realized that I am still bleeding.
I request a bandage.
This is what she gives to me.
I want you to look very carefully at the bandage.
Because of the budget cuts, the powers that be stopped purchasing bandages in multiple sizes. Opting instead to just buy the large bandages and cut them to different sizes.
People have stopped trying to do it right.
Later that day, I headed to the gas station. When I pump gas while wearing a skirt (see above picture) I tend to flirt with men. I don't know why. Maybe secretly I want full-serve...........
I spoke to the nice older gentleman at pump 3. I turned around to continue pumping on 2. I walk around to put the pump away and a woman says "hi" to me. It was weird. The two were at the same car. I wondered if he pumped while she paid .....
Then she hands to me a MaryKay business card attached to a magnet.
I was thinking.... For real?
Really?
Is a MaryKay representative trying to pimp me up at the gas station?
And a magnet too. What am I going to do with a magnet in my car? Stick it to my car????
All of that in one day.
Must be the sign of the times when people just stop trying........
This is my latest knitting project
I am finally using up the last of my eyelash yarn from 2004 :)
Labels:
cable,
gym,
neighbors
Posted by
The Frizzy Hooker
at
5:01 PM
3
comments