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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Brains: A Zombie Memoir
Recently, I attempted to read Brains: A Zombie Memoir. It was a difficult read. A story from the viewpoint of sentient zombie. Completely disturbing. I could not complete the book once I understood that the pregnant zombie's belly continued to grow after undeath. I have my limits. I didn't want to know what happened next. In defense of the book, the references to Hamlet made me laugh more than once.
Spoiler: My favorite line, "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are undead." Okay that may not have been the actual line but close enough.

I pulled this document from here and I added my information.
I figure that I would be valuable in a bunker of survivors for my keen cooking skills,  loyalty, humor and ability to turn any space into a loving home.  The constant need to outrun the zombie horde would not inhibit my knitting or crocheting as long as I have a knitting sheath for holding my stuff.  With my skills, everyone would have a shopping bag sleeping mat.  I am not suggesting that crocheting doilies, knitting hats, or spinning fiber or plastic bags into ropes makes me uniquely valuable to a group of survivors but those items would remind of us of the civilization that we fight to regain. Besides, I am not a weaver. A weaver is who you really want in your survivors camp. They can make tartans and survivors could start their own tribes.

I would use my background in sociology and counseling to form healthy society. I would be therapy. I can work the garden, and even can the vegetables. More importantly, I can make vanilla and coffee flavored vodka.  Who wouldn't want me?
I probably should have mentioned my mood swings under Cons.  Eh. My moods swings will more than likely go unnoticed during a zombie outbreak.
I listed steel double pointed knitting needles as a weapon. Properly weighted and designed, they could be thrown into the eye of a zombie striking into the brain. I supposed aluminum crochet hooks could be weapons, but I have concerns that a zombie might take it from me and use it to scoop out my brains.
I think this is a good start for my zombie survival resume.


The Frizzy Hooker said...

The Library is Undead:
Information Seeking During the Zombie Apocalypse
“ librarians successfully created a library mission that allowed zombie-hunting students to apply 21st century learning skills such as communication; collaboration; critical thinking; problem solving; creativity; innovation; and information, media, and technology literacy.”

Mary said...

Very funny. I'll skip the book and take your word for it. But don't forget crocheters can help to make clothing in a pinch (we know how to sew).

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