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Post-Prozac

Tuesday, December 1, 2009



I have been having a hard few weeks. I gained another ten pounds and I have officially decided to stop taking my prozac. I don't know what my co-workers are going to do. Hell, I don't know what my housemates are going to do. Or that Dude of mine.

I traveled recently to Illinois. It was okay. I hate traveling but I had company. I took Dude with me. The only negative about Dude is that he is the youngest child of six and a from a multiple birth. On the other hand, I am the oldest of two.
Get it?
Well, for those of you who are clueless, I am trying to write that he would not stop talking. Not at all.
I like to listen to books on tape when I travel. I don't talk on the phone. I don't want to catch up. I do want the stories to end.
Since I have leg issues, I like to stop every two hours to walk around. I had peace in the restrooms. I hate eating at rest areas but when I am hungry there is not much else to do.
Actually that wasn't so bad.
I returned home safely and tried to finish a swap project. I used a new yarn for me. Encore colorspun. I like Encore. It has yardage and practicality.
The next day, I had blisters on my hand.
My knitting friends diagnosed me with an allergy to the dye. I was so sad. I had two skeins.....
The next day, I had blisters on my feet.
By that afternoon, I had blisters in my mouth.
My knitting friends first posited that I put my hands in my mouth, but noone could explain my feet. I objected. I don't put my hands in my mouth. Near my mouth, yes but not in my mouth. I bought this special dental tool to avoid hand to interior mouth Reach Dental Flosser. My fingers don't go near my mouth.

The next day I had more blisters, so I went to the doctor.
After the examination he reentered the patient room with a big book.
Opened the page to some pictures and said, "I think you have hand, foot and mouth disease." Apparently, adults get it one percent of the time and usually from children. (According to my sister and mother of an 18 month old) My niece and I had the disease at the same time. Where she contracted it from her day-care, I probably picked it up from a rest stop. From some kid who did not wash her hands.
I will never eat at a rest stop again.
I have now been christened with the nickname the "sickly one."

Doc told me that I was not contagious to adults because, well, adults don't get hand, foot and mouth disease. I swear he snickered a little..... There is no treatment. The disease runs its course in ten days.
He advised me to stay away from children and not to tell anyone what I had.
He said, "If you tell anyone that you have hand,foot and mouth disease they will start to think about WWII or the plague. You don't want that."

I paid for that advice. At least I am not allergic to the Encore.

A few days, I purchased the ingredients for my famous strawberry and pretzel salad. This dish for the annual Thanksgiving dinner for my group whips of quickly. As I poured the frozen sliced strawberries from the container, I noticed NO sliced strawberries. I had 22 ounces of strawberry bits. I did not have time to purchase another tub of the strawberries, so I drafted submitted an angry customer response to the grocery store's website.
I couldn't save the dish. I let the jello set and drove 30 minutes to the dinner.
My dish completely ruined became the joke of the dinner. See. Someone took a picture of it and mailed it to me.

The poor pretzels should comprise the crust but as you can see, without the strawberry layer, the pretzels have taken over.
I didn't think it was that funny and I secretly hoped that one of them were as sickly as me.....


This week, the blisters have dried and I am back to typing again. I have to write that Word 2007 is full of stupid. I wanted to insert a file into my document. I searched and searched on the insert menu. I searched under the file menu. A half hour of my life wasted. I checked the Help function.
I put in "insert file" This was my first suggestion.




I ask you, if that is such a common question WTF did the geeks at Microsoft move it to the object option under the Insert tab???????

Just wait. December 14th will be here and I will take some time off.

1 comments:

suse-the-slow-knitta & Baldyboi said...

when my kids were very young, there was a spate of hand foot and mouth disease in the village (my two were ok),it was so bizarre, it came and it went and was never seen again.
you'll recover, shame about the strawberries though

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