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Frizzy Reader Fail

Friday, November 6, 2009

In between work, yoga, hooking and friends, I have become an avid reader.

I began sharing my books with my housemate earlier this year. She is not able to patron the library. I share books with her and bring to her books that I think she might enjoy.

Recently, a friend shared a trilogy with her. She passed the books to me.

With a warning.
She explained to me that the books were erotica. Not my usual romance books but real erotica. She felt that I would be disturbed by the first few pages of book one. Claiming Sleeping Beauty is not a pretty story. It is pretty darn upsetting.
Here is your spoiler: Teenage sleeping princess is raped rather than kissed. Bondage. Bondage and more bondage.
Sleeping Beauty is one of the first movies that I remember seeing as a child. I could not permit those memories to be spoiled.

I took the books from her and read up to about page 15 before closing it forever.
I sent to her a text message that day reading
"Thanks for the warning, but I am giving you back your porn. "

The next day, I received a message from her
"Who is this?"

I thought she was joking. I wrote back:
"Frizzyhooker, geez!"

Of course, I checked the number after I responded.
Of course, it was not her new number.
I can only imagine what the person on the other end of the text was thinking?

I think the porn was payback for the erotica that I tricked her into reading.
A friend gave me a book with a strong recommendation.
I gave it to my housemate to read first.

Heatseekers by Zane
A summary

Hoochie meets the playa but the good girl lands the real catch, who has money like Brandy and Mase. Hoochie and good girl are friends. Of course. Oh yeah, there is a pregnant teen in an abusive situation for tear value.

An excerpt

“An issue is what an emotional defect becomes when it graduates from being a problem. ”
“That’s real deep,” Tempest replied, in awe of his wording again. She longed to hear more, wondering if it was possible to meet a decent man in a meat market. To think, he was standing beside her the whole time she was checking out the rest of the dog pound. …..

She proceeds to ask if his name is Darius because she thought of herself as marrying a man named Darius. I had no idea meat markets were in fact, meat markets.
I envision marrying a man named Mister…..

“My name is Geren, and yours?”

“Tempest,” she answered, waiting for him to ask her a stupid question. Does that mean you have a temper? Does that mean you are like a storm in bed? If she had a dollar for every nucca that asked her one or the other, she would be sitting on the top of the world like Brandy or Mase.

I understand the character there. If one more guy asks me if Frizzyhooker means that I like having sex on carpets, I will scream.
The story continues. There is some discussion of Kool-Aid, hoochies and more nuccas.

She was very upset with me for the book. Probably more upset with me because I used her as my reviewer before I attempted to read the book. I had to advise my housemate on what a “nucca” was. And there is something terribly wrong with serving Kool-Aid at a wedding even if you are marrying a "playa."

Of course, discussing sex toy usage with one's grandmother is probably more distrubing than flavored water.

I have certainly learned my lesson. No erotica for me and no playa stories for her.

Crafty update
The neighbor's blanket is finally complete


Suse-the-slow-knitta said...

and that's why I stick with Jane Austen!!

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