My Sweet Revenge

I have been waiting for a phone call for about a month.
Waiting.
Today. It came
Some woman told me that I have an opportunity to lower all of my credit card rates. She warned me that if I do not act right away this opportunity will expire. She cautions that this will be the last time that she will call to offer the opportunity.
I pressed the prompt.
I was transferred to a man who asked me a series of questions about my credit card debt.
Do I have cards with interest rates above 10 percent?
How much do I think I owe?
He then congratulated me on my good credit history as reported by Experian.

Finally he asked, would I like to lower the interest rates?

Well of course.
He began to explain the process ....

And I hung up on him.


I have been waiting to do that for almost two months. I was afraid they were never to call again after I registered my office number with the DoNotCall website. I only wish that I had been knitting when they had called. I would have pretended to have dropped a stitch or something while....

Those sneaky bast@rds
In the past, when I used to ask to be removed the assistant would pretend to take my number and then hang up on me when I was talking.
The time that I requested to speak to a supervisor, she said 'okay,' put me on hold then I heard the dial tone.


My mission, is to hang up on them each time they call. To answer their questions. To feign interest. To lie if it is funny and to HANG UP on them in midsentence.

Lovely

Polite Outrage

So, I had an interesting visit from my neighbor last night. I was on the phone with my satellite dish company. If you have read my blogs you know that I have a hate-hate relationship with my communication services. I endure their outages, and they gouge me with late payments for being short three dollars. I try to call them when I am relaxed but it never fails, I lose my temper. My neighbor, Anarchy calls it “Polite Outrage.” According to her, I do not really raise my voice and I say things like “ridiculous” and “unacceptable” when other people scream and curse. I guess i am known for having a low voice. So when I think I am raising it, I am not really raising it at all. She knows all of this because she overheard me yesterday.

She had come to the house while I was in the midst of being curtly informed that I ‘would have to wait until Tuesday for a service appointment for the malfunctioning replacement DVR for which he will gladly waive the fee, even though he would be delighted to schedule an appointment sooner, but other customers have already set-up service calls meaning that I would be without dish service for five days that will be credited to my account and I should be sure to return the original defective DVR as soon as possible despite that I will not be able to watch any programming until my service call because I do not want to have any more problems.’ Arghhh. I was not able to finish my girlfriend's shawl because I was so angry about the malfunctioning DVR. I needed it ready for my Friday night shows.

Yeah, all of that. Once I ended my call on a high note. If you can call waiting five days for a service appointment and trying to live like it is 2003 and I do not have a DVR, a high note.

I asked Anarchy “ What’s up”

She told me that there were no lights on at her home, all the cars were gone, the children (her cousins) were missing, and she heard noises. She appeared quite frightened. She had entered the dark house and was unable to turn on the lights because the switches had been moved. The TV looked as if someone had tried to move it by placing a blanket under it and she heard sounds from the second floor. No one was home.

I could not tell if she were more frightened about the missing children or the darkened house. It was her job to watch the children and make their dinner. She and I began calling members of her family. No one answered but messages were left for the parents. She asked me when was the last time I “saw anyone at the house?” I saw the kids playing around the house when I arrived home from the gym at 7 p.m. It was not almost 10 p.m.

As we spoke in whispers while nervously glancing at the house, the children emerged, slowly one by one. The eldest asked, “Why did you leave?”

Anarchy asked, “Where the hell were you?” The kids said, “We were playing Hide And Seek.”

That was when she absolutely lost her mind…..

And I had front row seats.

I can’t tell anymore because I still have to live there.

She had left a message with the mother who, in turn, had called the kids. The kids told her that Anarchy had entered the house during their game, tried to turn on the lights, looked at the TV and then rushed out while leaving the door wide open. The mother told them to go to my house and gather their older cousin who was going nuts looking for them.

They watched Anarchy the entire time and said nothing to her. The kids had been sitting on the couch in the dark, very quietly to avoid detection from the Seeker.

She was so angry with the kids she stayed at my house until she calmed down.

I don’t blame her, if that had been me someone would have had to hold me down and forget about Polite Outrage.

If it is Not One Thing.....

I had some news. In the last two weeks I have met with two of my doctors.

First, my GP was alarmed at the amount of weight that I have gained since the last time I met with her. She sent me for a glucose test since diabetes runs in my family and I have been experiencing symptoms that led her to order the test. This week, I met with my sleep disorder specialist. He was equally alarmed at my wieght gain. He said that it is "highly unusual" for someone to gain weight while on the sleep therapy drug.

There goes those phrases that doctor's use -- those codes. I have been thinking about this phrase for several days. "Highly unusual" Me thinks that itnis code for 'something is seriously wrong.' Everyone else lost weight while taking this drug. Then he says that if I have pre-diabetes I must immediately come off the drug. I went to the Net for some insight. Found a few strings that discussed the relationship of certain sleep medications that cause diabetes, pancreatitis and acute pancreatitis. Of course.....

My Line Sister used to say all of the time. "If it is not One Thing it is Ten!

So you are probably wondering, well how much weight have you gained. Hmmm.... I started tracking my weight in April because I thought I was going crazy. I have gained 18 pounds from March 15 to June 15. More than twenty since last year when I started the medicine. The sleep doctor told me to lose weight. Like I haven't noticed....

Like I can reasonably fit my clothes or my SHOES. I mean seriously. Is he joking? Losing weight is always on my mind.

So, I call Steelcurtain, with whom I have been having friendly conversations lately and I asked him to help me lose weight. He told me to stop drinking. What the Dish Network Service....

Yes, I believe that having Dish Network Service is like living in Hell. A Hell where everything is my error. It could be that my phone line is outdated. So I have AT&T come out and upgrade the 1950 era lines. Or it could be that there is something wrong with the line.

So, I install a brand new line dedicated to the receiver. Or it could be that my DSL filter is not working.

So, I purchase new ones from Radio Shack and the salesperson suggests that nothing will make the Dish receiver work better.

Or (this is the best one yet - heard it last week) it could be that I picked up the phone after the Dish Receiver attempted to call the Dish system and heard the announcement that you hear when you call a bad number. You know... "check the number and try again..."

Now, have you EVER heard of a time where if the extension was picked up the phone connection was interrupted or otherwise not connected? Neither have I. But Dish Network has trained all of its Indian representatives to suggest that everything that could possibly or remotely be your fault, is the reason why the Dish receiver will not order PPV movies or anything else. AND you have to pay the $2 fee to order a PPV over the phone. And if you want a tech to come out and verify that the stupid foreign made receiver is INDEED calling the wrong number, YOU must pay $55.00. Because the warranty has elapsed. AND if it is broken, you must pay for the S&H fee to receive a new one. I HATE CALL CENTERS.

But I am off topic...And losing my vodka induced feelings of euphoria. I begged Steelcurtain to take the vodka and rum in my house. He refused -- actually suggested that I have willpower. As I draft this blog entry, completely blitzed on Vodka and Dr. Pepper.......

Not to mention the neighbor that works as a bartender and turned me onto this great rum with a hint of vanilla that is $10 cheaper than Captain Morgan (which I despise) and so smooth that I forgot what it is named..... I decided to scoff at his suggestion that I stop drinking... Perhaps, when the bottle is empty....... Besides a friend is turning 30 tomorrow. I wonder "What was he thinking."

Well, I am going to have to do a few things differently.

First, I joined this site.

My Member name is Ibrizzy (I know, I forgot the "F") Since I have already been working out and watching what I eat - I am not sure what else can be done.