Data about staying fit.

This has been a fun summer so far.
First, the garden.

I had a ground hog. It ate all of my cucumber buds. It dug up my radishes and my turnips. It nibbled on the cabbages and the collards.
The creature covered up the strawberry patch with its digging and dirt relocation  to create a home under my house. It is much to hot to bother with all of this.
Much, much to hot.
I had to protect my garden.

I used the bird netting from the strawberry patch to cover my turnip greens and radishes.

The netting protected the cabbages and the collards. I figured that lazy ground hog would not want to bother with the netting to nibble on my plants.
For the cucumber I took a more creative approach.

I purchased fence poles and more netting. The ground hog will have to dig his way under the netting in order to eat my cucumbers. The nerve of this animal to take advantage of my plants. I have not been able to grow an adequate cucumber in two years. I will not permit this hungry pest to take away my cucumbers.
I am protecting the okra plants with the remaining tomato cages.
I planted more marigolds.
My roommate laughed at me. She thought the ground hog would just dig under the fencing and knock over the tomato cages.

Now, two weeks later, I have seen no sign of the ground hog. Indeed, I have seen evidence of cat poo. Meaning that the ground hog is gone and the cat has returned to poo in my yard. I am both delighted and disgusted. I hate finding cat poo in my garden.
I swear if it isn't the slugs, it is the ground hog, if not the ground hog then the cats.
I think that the groundhog met its maker. There are a lot of dogs in my neighborhood.
Summer also means  wildlife.
Every summer we have families of ducks in and around the river that runs through campus.They are hard to ignore waddling around on campus all week.
They don't seem to be bothered by the heat.
They are not even bothered by wading in the creek-like river bed. The lack of rainfall has dried the Ottawa river almost completely to muddy bottom.



Finally, summer means I can count on the neighbors to entertain us all.
My eastside neighbors tried to show us how to beat the  summer heat last week. (click the tag for eastsideneighbors for listings of their previous shenanigans)
The electricity failed us for about 4 hours on one of the hottest days of the summer. I traveled home to pick up my roommate. The garage door would not open without electricity and I had stacked crap in front of the access door. She was going no where but on the porch along with most of the neighbors.
Which is why on my way home I receive a text from the VanDammes.

Omg. Wish you were here... Eastsiders put tarp in bed of truck and r filling it w water

So when I got home, I called the Leza and we took pictures like real paparazzi from our porches.


As you can see, the tarp idea did not work. I commend them for trying to stay cool and laugh at them for thinking this would work.

Just a few more weeks of summer to go.

Feel yourself like Casanova!...

It is 1 am.
A major thunderstorm has just passed.
All the windows are open to catch the cool breeze.
Suddenly you hear

Get Back MotherFucka You Don't Know me Like that
WTH
It kept playing that one line over and over again as if the listener just wanted to hear that statement.

This is the clean version of the song.....
I didn't get that clean version.
I look out the window
I see My Neighbor ACROSS THE STREET dancing in his garage.
His back yard is completely lit up.
And he is dancing
He played this song for at least a hour. I closed my windows after 45 minutes and inserted my earplugs.
On the plus side I am learning new tricks with my camera. I will catch him next time.

Then there are the neighbors on their cellphone

Sitting on their porches. Across the street. Speaking so loud that I have to close the windows on my own porch to avoid listening to them. ....Or just putting my knitting down so that I can pay closer attention. Which is what I plan to do and did last week.
Seriously. People get really upset over things posted on Facebook. Fortunately, I was not the receiver of the verbal lashing my neighbor hollered into the tiny phone.
So upset that even while talking on the phone she rolls her head, shakes her finger in the face of an imaginary person.It was quite comical. And very distracting.

Telephone, n.  An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.  ~Ambrose Bierce

I live on a normal block of homeowners with small children two blocks from the elementary school. I am also surrounded by stop and robs. Little corner stores that sell alcohol and the stupid cigars. 
There are two bars within 3 blocks as well as an ice cream shop, a barber shop and a small grocer.
It could be worse. It could be better. I like it for the adventure.

Backyard Shenanigans

Edit:  To add pseudo names for my neighbors

This weekend was the holiday.  I spent two evenings with the Van Dames* watching their backyard fireworks.  It could be considered a bit much.  They are nice folks and they had beer.  What can I say?

I am glad that I left the party before the girl fights.  I knew it was a matter of time when the two women would stop drinking and begin fighting.  You can only do some many beer bongs.  After about 4 shots of whiskey, you really need to sit yourself down and be quiet.  Girl A did not bring her own liquor to the party, she took advantage of  Gir -(oops) I mean -Woman B's alcohol and beer bong. I should mention that Woman B's beer bong had been a mother's day present from her fiance.
Yes. It was that type of party.

Really, our friends, relatives and acquaintances come in all forms.  If there is a good time to be had by all , All will have a good time. I was happy to be there.

Woman A took it upon herself to assist Woman B in being hospitable. She cajoled me and Dude into taking whiskey shots and using the beer bong.  Some might call it peer pressure.......
I did it.  Two shots of whiskey one beer bong and then I was ready to get out of there.  The fireworks had been lit and there was nothing to do but watch the slight panic as the bonfire flames edged toward the firewood pile.  Heh. The bonfire was spectacular after the smoke and eye spots  from the sonic booms dissipated.  Yet, I could sense a girlfight.
So, I left.

The next day, the neighborhood fireworks display negated the need to attend the city's fireworks.  I haven't attended the downtown fireworks since I moved here.  I didn't experience it as a child or a young adult in my suburban neighborhoods.  I like this.
Kinda scary but mostly fun.  As a homeowner it behooved me to stand outside and observe the fireworks. I needed to know who to blame if anything were to happen. 

I asked my neighbor, Carlos* about his military status.  I noticed that he diligently places the American flag outside his home each federal holiday.  He shared with me that his son-in-law served in the Army. He died in Iraq.  Now, I will look at his flag and be reminded of the sacrifices that are made by our serviceman. 

Besides for being extra hot, I enjoyed the holiday weekend.  BTW, when it is 90 degrees, even a bike ride is hot. 

I forgot to mention the shenanigans of the Eastsideneighbors. I will not bother giving them a psuedonym.  If you know anything about the Eastside of any rustbelt city, you know enough.

My housemate Roseanne* took this pic of the eastside neighbors having a tailgate party in their driveway.  http://twitpic.com/20lbat
They have a backyard. I have seen it.  It is huge.  There is simply no reason to explain the things that they do. 

Time for a garden update.

They are here. The rudbeckia bloomed.

I have tons of it.  If you would like some, come on over.



I feed the birds. Sometimes, I get a sunflower for my troubles.









This little guy appeared among my collard plants on Sunday.  It is a mystery to how he got there.  I do not know what he is doing in the garden.  I hope he is stomping on slugs.  He gave me a fright when I first spied him in the foliage. 

Most of the coneflowers have bloomed.

 I have an ambulatory gnome!  Today, I found him guarding the tomato plants.    I think I will check for him everyday.  He is kinda cute.

I told you so

I think that I am going to put the police non-emergency number on my speed dial.

A few days ago, I was awakened by the sounds of a hollering man at 4 am. it was very loud. I looked out the window to see if some hooligans were outside of my house. I wanted to check on my housemate's car. The last time I heard voices, her car was vandalized.
I didn't see anyone.
Just heard the voices. Lots of F-bombs.
Lots of F-bombs.
I shut the window.
Still more F-bombs and pleads to "hear my out."
It sounded like someone was being kicked out of the house.
I turned on my porch lights to alert the jerks that someone was awake and could hear them.
The voices got quieter.
After about 30 minutes, I hear the male voice say "I am going to leave."
I hear this for another 20 minutes.

I look for the telephone book because I have to be at work at 8:15 am. I didn't want to call 911 so I had to look up the non-emergency number.

I am sitting on my bed with the phone in my hand. It is now 5:05 am.
I hear what sounds like a car starting.
Yippee. The jerk is leaving her alone.
I place the phone on the charger and turn off my bedroom lights.
Wait.
I don't hear the sound of tires.
Hmmmm
More "I am going to leave" statements.

Shoot. I was tricked.
I am furious.
5:10 am
I hear the sound of wheels on pavement.
Freedom and normalcy at last. I drift off to sleep...

6:00 am. My damn alarm goes off.
8:40 am, I stumble into work angry and tired.
I called the VDenks and told them about it, they live closer to the Eastsideneighbors. Leez heard nothing.
When it started up again last night, I turned on the AC and hid under my pillows. But the drama got the better of Leez and she listened intently to the argument.
Since they argue in the streets, I have no problem posting the amended transcripts (as told b Leez VDenk) of their argument here:
Female: "I can't open the door, it is all foggy."

Male: "I just want to leave"

Female: "You are always trying to leave."
"Just take off"
"Go hang down to the bar and hang out with all the drunk bitches"

Lovely

Craft Updates

I am working on a hat for a friend. The hat hates me. For some reason all my attempts at crocheting a hat this year have gone horribly wrong. I actually had to consult a pattern. <>

My birthday was last week.
These are the swap packages that I received.


Swapperneckers





Cancer Swap

Almost Forgot to Tell You

About the the new neighbors across the street....

Hmmmmm
I expect to have lots of entries dedicated to them this year. I will tag them EastSideNeighbors.

For my first entry I want you to imagine sitting on the front porch on a lovely summer day. The cross breeze is flowing through the porch and there is a glass of lemonade on the table.

Peaceful

Now look at this

The Eastsideneighbors have a cute little boy. This is his bike minus the training wheels. I can see the bike all the way to the end of the block. It is a good bike for a small kid.

Now look at this >>>>>

Okay
The two are not related, right?

Add this image

Got that?


I am going to add one more image to make sure that you understand what I am trying to convey.
Do you have all of that?

Okay, imagine me sitting on my porch. Drinking a glass of lemonade. As I place the glass on the table I look up and see......


A grown ass man wearing a wife beater and saggy sweat pants riding down the block on his kid's Hulk bike carrying 30 can box of Budweiser.