The final hook

I spent part of my vacation visiting my sister in Georgia.
She has an 18 month old. Just so you know, the baby ignored me preferring to play with the 6'4" bald guy.
The joke was on him because she gave to him her stomach virus.
Of course, then the joke was on me. Driving a 6'4" bald guy from Georgia to Northern Ohio with the sh!ts is not fun at all.

More about that another blog.
I discovered some things while travelling. I would like to share them with you
0. People who text, log into FB, or try to use GPS navigation while driving, have no idea what kind of dangerous situation they are creating. It is best to take over the driving. a. GPS navigation on your cell phone is just plain stupid....
1. Never, ever, ever, ever eat at a sushi restaurant that is down the road from a Waffle House. Just go to the Waffle House. You will thank yourself in the morning.
2. Kentucky is hiding a secret. Ale 8 one is the best most delicious soft drink not sold in your state. I am negotiating with a truck driving friend to bring me this drink when she is passing through Ohio. This ale is the answer to a long work day. The taste reminds me of my favorite comfy leisure suit and a glass of wine without the buzz.
3. Lagunitas Brown Shugga ale should not be legal. Don't they know that sugar will mess you up????? I learned that I CANNOT handle 9.84% alc AT ALL in a bottle. If you like beer, you simply must seek this ale and try it. Eat first.
4. Anyone who is sick for 24 hours is not capable of making any decisions related to travelling after the 25th hour. Trust me.....
5. If you can take the queen size bed from the teenager, take it. There is no reason to be nice to a teenager who will not loan to you her house slippers for the cold mornings anyway. Just take her bed and make her sleep in the baby's room on the balloon (air) mattress
6. Never, ever, ever be okay with sleeping on air mattress. Doing so will not guarantee your spot in heaven so don't bother.
7. Speed up on Green light violations SUCK! They are the most cowardly, idiotic violations you can get. Any municipality that uses them should be targeted by missiles.
As a motorist, these are the options when the light is changing:
a. Speed up - speed on green ticket
b. Stay at speed limit - red light ticket
c. Slam on breaks and hope you don’t enter intersection - Rear end collision.
8. If you are using text banking. Don't count on it to provide and up to date balance. I used this option outside of every store I entered. I forgot that some businesses take days to post a charge. Nice

Crafty Update
I decided that with my bizarre weight gain and losses, I should switch to wearing cloaks and capes rather than coats. I have decided to use some of my stashed Ella Rae classic wool yarn to make a ruana. I began it on the drive to Georgia. I have used three skeins so far.
I am making it on the bias. My hope is that it will hang better this way. Beginning at the right edge, I am adding a stitch at the start and end of each forward row. When I the left and right edges measure 48 inches, I will only add a stitch at the start of the forward row and decrease a stitch at the end. I will post pictures as I go.
These are the nieces scarves for 2009. I suspect they will receive them sometime in 2010. Oh well.....

Post December 14th

This is the addition that I made to a traveling scarf recently. I added this section at the end of November.
I used the staff holidays to work on a few gift scarves, as well.

For my trouble, I earned a swollen hand.

It looked worse than this at the beginning of December. I finally had to realize that the scarves will not be complete before the end of the year. Since I refuse to buy any gifts, I plan to dodge holiday gatherings or at least fake the gift exchanges.
Wish me luck!

I should mention that I have been pretty busy the last few weeks.
I am so glad that it is over.
Leinenkugel beer got me through it. Their Fireside Nut Brown is amazing. I don't like Sam Adams. I am a Midwestern gal and I want a Midwestern beer.
I like beer. I am proud to say.

I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night.” ~ Greek Proverb

“The government will fall that raises the price of beer.” santiz Czech Proverb
“God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.” santiz Anne Sexton

Thank you beer. I tried vodka, rum and gin but nothing beat the comfort of a cold bottle of beer.

Yesterday, Dude informed me that I have removed the links to my blog from my Facebook page and other places. He said, "I know you are probably talking about me on your blog. So I understand."
Isn't he cute?

Post-Prozac

I have been having a hard few weeks. I gained another ten pounds and I have officially decided to stop taking my prozac. I don't know what my co-workers are going to do. Hell, I don't know what my housemates are going to do. Or that Dude of mine.

I traveled recently to Illinois. It was okay. I hate traveling but I had company. I took Dude with me. The only negative about Dude is that he is the youngest child of six and a from a multiple birth. On the other hand, I am the oldest of two.
Get it?
Well, for those of you who are clueless, I am trying to write that he would not stop talking. Not at all.
I like to listen to books on tape when I travel. I don't talk on the phone. I don't want to catch up. I do want the stories to end.
Since I have leg issues, I like to stop every two hours to walk around. I had peace in the restrooms. I hate eating at rest areas but when I am hungry there is not much else to do.
Actually that wasn't so bad.
I returned home safely and tried to finish a swap project. I used a new yarn for me. Encore colorspun. I like Encore. It has yardage and practicality.
The next day, I had blisters on my hand.
My knitting friends diagnosed me with an allergy to the dye. I was so sad. I had two skeins.....
The next day, I had blisters on my feet.
By that afternoon, I had blisters in my mouth.
My knitting friends first posited that I put my hands in my mouth, but noone could explain my feet. I objected. I don't put my hands in my mouth. Near my mouth, yes but not in my mouth. I bought this special dental tool to avoid hand to interior mouth Reach Dental Flosser. My fingers don't go near my mouth.

The next day I had more blisters, so I went to the doctor.
After the examination he reentered the patient room with a big book.
Opened the page to some pictures and said, "I think you have hand, foot and mouth disease." Apparently, adults get it one percent of the time and usually from children. (According to my sister and mother of an 18 month old) My niece and I had the disease at the same time. Where she contracted it from her day-care, I probably picked it up from a rest stop. From some kid who did not wash her hands.
I will never eat at a rest stop again.
I have now been christened with the nickname the "sickly one."

Doc told me that I was not contagious to adults because, well, adults don't get hand, foot and mouth disease. I swear he snickered a little..... There is no treatment. The disease runs its course in ten days.
He advised me to stay away from children and not to tell anyone what I had.
He said, "If you tell anyone that you have hand,foot and mouth disease they will start to think about WWII or the plague. You don't want that."

I paid for that advice. At least I am not allergic to the Encore.

A few days, I purchased the ingredients for my famous strawberry and pretzel salad. This dish for the annual Thanksgiving dinner for my group whips of quickly. As I poured the frozen sliced strawberries from the container, I noticed NO sliced strawberries. I had 22 ounces of strawberry bits. I did not have time to purchase another tub of the strawberries, so I drafted submitted an angry customer response to the grocery store's website.
I couldn't save the dish. I let the jello set and drove 30 minutes to the dinner.
My dish completely ruined became the joke of the dinner. See. Someone took a picture of it and mailed it to me.

The poor pretzels should comprise the crust but as you can see, without the strawberry layer, the pretzels have taken over.
I didn't think it was that funny and I secretly hoped that one of them were as sickly as me.....


This week, the blisters have dried and I am back to typing again. I have to write that Word 2007 is full of stupid. I wanted to insert a file into my document. I searched and searched on the insert menu. I searched under the file menu. A half hour of my life wasted. I checked the Help function.
I put in "insert file" This was my first suggestion.




I ask you, if that is such a common question WTF did the geeks at Microsoft move it to the object option under the Insert tab???????

Just wait. December 14th will be here and I will take some time off.

The Things my friends talk me into doing!

She said, "go to this site and see what your baby with Dude will look like."

Twenty minutes later I have these morphs to show for it.

This poor baby looks like she/he was liberated from a pod sack.

This baby is cute. And probably very likely.

This baby is a stinker. I see him/her getting away with everything.
This baby is my 18 month old niece. Perhaps the morphing is on to something.

Pictures courtesy of http://www.morphthing.com/