The final hook

I spent part of my vacation visiting my sister in Georgia.
She has an 18 month old. Just so you know, the baby ignored me preferring to play with the 6'4" bald guy.
The joke was on him because she gave to him her stomach virus.
Of course, then the joke was on me. Driving a 6'4" bald guy from Georgia to Northern Ohio with the sh!ts is not fun at all.

More about that another blog.
I discovered some things while travelling. I would like to share them with you
0. People who text, log into FB, or try to use GPS navigation while driving, have no idea what kind of dangerous situation they are creating. It is best to take over the driving. a. GPS navigation on your cell phone is just plain stupid....
1. Never, ever, ever, ever eat at a sushi restaurant that is down the road from a Waffle House. Just go to the Waffle House. You will thank yourself in the morning.
2. Kentucky is hiding a secret. Ale 8 one is the best most delicious soft drink not sold in your state. I am negotiating with a truck driving friend to bring me this drink when she is passing through Ohio. This ale is the answer to a long work day. The taste reminds me of my favorite comfy leisure suit and a glass of wine without the buzz.
3. Lagunitas Brown Shugga ale should not be legal. Don't they know that sugar will mess you up????? I learned that I CANNOT handle 9.84% alc AT ALL in a bottle. If you like beer, you simply must seek this ale and try it. Eat first.
4. Anyone who is sick for 24 hours is not capable of making any decisions related to travelling after the 25th hour. Trust me.....
5. If you can take the queen size bed from the teenager, take it. There is no reason to be nice to a teenager who will not loan to you her house slippers for the cold mornings anyway. Just take her bed and make her sleep in the baby's room on the balloon (air) mattress
6. Never, ever, ever be okay with sleeping on air mattress. Doing so will not guarantee your spot in heaven so don't bother.
7. Speed up on Green light violations SUCK! They are the most cowardly, idiotic violations you can get. Any municipality that uses them should be targeted by missiles.
As a motorist, these are the options when the light is changing:
a. Speed up - speed on green ticket
b. Stay at speed limit - red light ticket
c. Slam on breaks and hope you don’t enter intersection - Rear end collision.
8. If you are using text banking. Don't count on it to provide and up to date balance. I used this option outside of every store I entered. I forgot that some businesses take days to post a charge. Nice

Crafty Update
I decided that with my bizarre weight gain and losses, I should switch to wearing cloaks and capes rather than coats. I have decided to use some of my stashed Ella Rae classic wool yarn to make a ruana. I began it on the drive to Georgia. I have used three skeins so far.
I am making it on the bias. My hope is that it will hang better this way. Beginning at the right edge, I am adding a stitch at the start and end of each forward row. When I the left and right edges measure 48 inches, I will only add a stitch at the start of the forward row and decrease a stitch at the end. I will post pictures as I go.
These are the nieces scarves for 2009. I suspect they will receive them sometime in 2010. Oh well.....

Sigh! Different day, same question

My grandfather passed away last month. The repast was held at my grandmother's home.
Oh joy for me

When everyone exhausts talking about Grandpa, his life and his death they look around for something else to talk about.

There is the casino issue on November's ballot.
There is the mayoral race.
Micheal Jackson conversations never seem to go away.
Just as the conversation picks up there is a distraction.
Some toddler runs into the room, plops down on the floor and starts crying.
That is when relatives notice that I still am motherless.

Sigh.

"Frizzy, when are you going to have kids?"
"By accident"


Then there is my younger cousin by ten years who is also brazenly childless.
She is asked the same set of questions.

"Nikki, when are you going to have kids?"
"After Frizzy."

You would have thought that we planned our counterattacks.

If only that would stop the teasing. Teasing, seriously they older women in the family tease us for being motherless. I don't understand.

My grandmother seemed to enjoy listing off and pointing out each of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren ranging from 38 to 16 months. I enjoyed pointing out that she has plenty for now.

A few weeks later, Dude visits me.
He surprises me with this gift.

Images taken from here, you can order your own clock.

Seriously.
I was so upset that I called my mother to let her know that I was dating a wacko.
After describing the clock and its packaging she says, "well, you aren't getting younger."

I felt betrayed. I thought we had an agreement. She wouldn't bother me about kids and I wouldn't bother her about her recipes.

So I guess I am going after that sweet potato pie recipe after all.

My Block is Full of Mystery

The Mysterious Third Can
Yesterday was trash pick up day. After work, I pulled up to my home and found three trash cans.

Two, I recognized. This one is the the mystery. Look at it. It looks like it belongs at my house. It was the only one standing upright in my yard. To the casual observer, it is my trash can. But it is not. The other two had fallen down. Very odd.

Did they mate? And why won't the real owner of this can retrieve it?

I don't know why, but strange things continue to happen.
Geppetto? or Pied Piper? To whom do these kids belong?
The number of children on my block have grown. I remember 4 maybe 6 kids. Now there appear to be twelve. Seriously.
I asked the SAHM across the street to explain it all to me. She assured me that there were only two new kids, as one house had new owners. It didn't add up.
Then I got it.

The kids across the street had been on "This side of the street" restriction until about two weeks ago. Now that they can cross the street, they are all over my yard and my neighbor's yard.

And they act as if they own the entire block. I see them riding their bikes (six to 8 kids at a time) up and down another neighbor's driveway. He recently had it blacktopped so it is smoooooth riding for them. It is like a carousel. They kids ride from the blue house on the corner to the middle of the block, into the driveway and make a u-turn back to the blue house. One after the other. They do this when he is at work.

They are so laid back that one day, I spied a pair of socks and shoes on my front lawn. For several hours. Then they disappeared. Magic.

Often, I come home from work and find the remains of a water balloon fight. In my lawn. On my sidewalk. Everywhere. And the kids have been sharing my name among each other. So now it is, "Hi Frizzy..... Hi Frizzy, Hi Frizzy " about 12 or so times as each child notices me. It is difficult to ignore.

Very funny.
Some stuff, I just don't want happening next door to me.
I was confused when I noticed that the little girls (who previously did not cross the street) seem to visit the next door neighbor, Junior, on his front lawn and try to stand near him. Then I remembered that his voice is deepening. It is amazing. This kid is now a middle school hunk. One gal can't keep her hands off of him. I think she has a crush but he doesn't know what to do. Last week, the kids were serenading thee couple with that classic romantic ditty
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G........."
I write this because I have been sitting on my porch lately. On evenings that I know the mom is not home, I like to stand on my stoop and watch the kids to make sure that he doesn't leave and they don't go in the house. Yeah, I have my eyes on him.
Other stuff, I don't need to know
On Sunday, I saw Junior dragging the house water hose and cart across the street. I think that I saw six other kids following him wearing their swim suits. They were headed to another kid's house. I thought about shouting after him. I know that noone would have approved of him taking the hose cart. But......I changed my mind and went back to my romance novel. There were too many explanations for the hose...I wasn't that curious.

Sounds of the night
In addition to the sound of kids playing there has been a lot of extra noises lately.
The next door neighbors decided to get a puppy just to annoy me. The puppy and the older dog like to play "keep away" with their steel bowls at about one am every night on the cement driveway.
One night, I snuck out there, flipped over the steel bowl, stole one of the driveway paving stones, put it in the bowl, filled it with water, and went back to bed. Mystery of the early morning racket, resolved.