From the Archives: My Frizzy Notions

Originally published November 26, 2007. For some reason, I decided to count off some of my beliefs. 

Rule by Fools: Kakistroacy

First, I Think Text Felicitations Are Dumb I am, of course, referring to people who send text messages of "Happy - Insert Holiday-". Seriously, for the Love of a Simple Cellular Phone Plan stop it. I have to pay for out of network text messages after 50 and greetings are not worth an additional fee each month. Maybe you think that I am overreacting. So.... Send a card. Spend your money instead. Especially if you are not in my network. Or call me after 9 oçlock. << 2010 edit, I finally upgraded my cell plan to included unlimited texting. Despite this, I still think text felicitations are dumb >>  Two, Hallmark is still the best place to go for the perfect card or gift. If you have resorted to buying your cards from Wal-mart or Kroger's, remember that you can do better than that. I love visiting Hallmark during holiday seasons. There is always something worth buying or someone worth surprising. It is a lot more thoughtful than a text message. ETA 2010: I have found that Hallmarks are difficult to find anymore. I still prefer Hallmark but anyplace will do Three, this is a great time to catch up on movies that you missed at the theater. Allow me to recommend one for you. Imagine if you will that the Writer's Guild strike continues indefinitely. Reality TV shows flood the airwaves. Clown court TV shows and CS-Sci-Fi replace real justice. Law and Order begins to resemble Reno 911. Entertainment news and biased talk shows replace investigative report and the whole story. Imagine if the greatest economic, legal, political, military, scientific, academic and humanitarian minds stop having children or have less children. Just imagine another 500 years later. I am not talking about a future influenced by wars and planetary expansion like that portrayed in Serenity and Star Trek. Nor a future shaped by viruses and conflict like Aeon Flux or Ultraviolet. Not a world dominated by a totalitarian government as in V is for Vendetta. No that that at all. I am referring to a world ruled by idiots. A movie by Mike Judge and well worth a movie rental. Good satire and a scary future. It is called Idiocracy and feature Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph and Mike Judge. This is a presidential parade of the future. Hmmmm ETA 2010:  Eh, skip the movies. Just upgrade your cable package and watch TV ;   Four, buy a lap desk. These big wooden desks are great. I can put my laptop in the middle, a book to the left and still have room for a writing tablet. I can use it while surfing the Internet on my PC, too. I love this little lap table. You should get one, too. Think of the possibilities. ETA 2010:  Hmm, I love my lap desk. Still use it when I am actually sitting down and reading/surfing the Net   Five, Try new bread. I must admit. Hazelnut, poppyseed wheat bread is the best bread on Earth. Just try it once. You will be hooked ETA 2010:  Pull out some of that apple butter you purchased last month. It is amazing on this bread    Okay, seriously I was just having fun. The real point of this blog was to get you to rent Idiocracy available right now at your local video store. Funniest movie of 2006 that noone saw! ETA 2010:  Rent The Hangover. I still can't believe how funny that movie was.  Another gem of a movie from 2009 is Pontypool Surprisingly good movie. Just watch it. You will agree My original blog had a lot of my favorite secrets but that one is gone. Isn't it? My night went from irritation to worse, too. After losing my blog entry, I went to bed. Around 4:30 am I found myself losing my dinner. I have been under the weather all day. And you know what? It would really be great if someone sent to me a text message that said, "I hope you are feeling better." Just kidding........

From Archives - Movies

I will be going through my original blog over the next few weeks and will be highlighting an old post. It really isn't my original blog but that blog has been removed.  My first blog was housed at Yahoo! 360. I moved it to Multiply a few years ago.  So, I am actually reviewing copied posts from my original blog. I moved to Blogger and all posts copy to Multiply so that there is one location to find all (or at least) most of my Frizzy musings since 2005. If you are lucky, I will spell check the original post.    
 
I liked this post from December 22, 2005 about the movie industry

Movies

Movies today are a sad lot
There are some major types of movies that i have seen the past few years
1. An film screen version of a mediocre 70s TV show
2. Remake of another movie using 21st Century technology or the latest set of beautiful people
3. Pretentious Film interpretation of a comic book hero or best selling book
4. Heavily merchandised children's character that will be adapted into a cartoon or children’s show two more years.
5. Popcorn movies that make absolutely no sense but are nonetheless entertaining
6. Another freaking sequel that is completely unoriginal and not worth the price of dinner
7. A movie with some deeper meaning to it that you never quite get until you see it at home
8. A movie about penguins

I want to see a real female action hero movie. I loved Catwoman. I refer to it "A Woman Vexed." Just think, her man was sleeping with all of her friends, she had just won an Oscar and Revlon was giving her the blues. Anyway, everyone wants to argue two plot points with me.
Point One - It is the Stupid
Spoiler ~ it is about a beautiful woman played by Sharon Stone that wants to launch a beauty cream that will disfigure anyone who STOPS using it. For that reason, my friends told me the movie was the worst movie of the year.
Hmmmmmmm
A product that you can't live without....... Sounds like razors for women. A disposable razor company wanted to double its profits so it starts advertising to women in the 1930s. Now women think that it is unhygienic not to shave and we need shaving cream and shaving moisturizers to relieve the stinging caused by raking a sharp metal file across our skin. BTW It is unhygienic not to wash your nasty ass.
Or straightening relaxers for black women. Can't go without one or your natural curly hair will start to show. Black woman spend up to $80 and 4 hours in the salon every 4 weeks to get the relaxer (the main ingredient of relaxers - is lye a chemical that can burn your skin), $40 on daily hair care products for grooming, and heating implements that will scald the skin in order to style the hair. Sounds like a product that can disfigure you to me.

Okay, so you may not be disfigured but manufacturers have to create a problem that their product will address. Hence, a beauty cream you cannot live without. You know, like douches and female suppositories. My health teacher taught me that our body scents were from hormones designed to attract the opposite sex but apparently I should be talking to my mother about feminine odor in a field of wildflowers.

Second point - The Conflict is Stupid
A stupid movie that has the hero in an unintelligible conflict with the antihero. Hmmmm. Have you watched a James Bond movie?
The types of conflict inherent in James Bond movies that we accept are good enough for a female based superhero movie, right?

Back to movies in general
Box Office results are misleading. Each year movie theater chains raise prices and open more theaters. Each year, some stupid overly hyped movie breaks some stupid BO record. Of course it did. It is simple algebra.

Then there are the movies that I don’t get. Like Existential Movies

I Heart Huckabees - Defining and Connecting In the Universe

I tried watching this movie with my roommate. Someone told jupitergirl888 that she would like it. She and I sat down one lazy evening to watchdvd player I wanted to know “What Was the Joke?”

Being John Malkovich – Who Are We Really When We Are Being Someone Else?

I sat through this movie with 15 minutes of clarity at a time. It was as if I was underwater and I was sharing an oxygen tank with someone else. Each time I turned away from the screen everything was clear and I could breathe again. Then I start watching it and the confusion, the air bubbles, and panic sets in all over again.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – This Sounds Familiar, No Wait Its in Reverse.
Once again, someone suggested that jupitergirl888 and I would like this movie.
I started watching it after about 30 minutes jupitergirl888 disappeared. SHE LEFT ME … that jerk, to watch the movie by myself. I let the cat watch it while I ate some dinner. If I watch that movie again, I will walk backwards towards the TV screen.

I did like some weird movies
Groundhog Day – Don’t Live Life Unconscious
Hilarious. This guy walks though life as if it is only populated by him and things that either entertain him, irritate him, or hurt him - each of which he is trying to avoid.

Flirting with Disaster - Are We More than Our Parents?
You just have to watch it

Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe – Answers the Question “Why Are We Here?”
I was watching this movie in the top rows of a 500 seat theater. I could hear people laughing from the front. I was determined to figure out what the “joke” was. So, I bought the book. It is hilarious.

Movies that I would like to see

1. An action-hero movie based on The Tick television show. Or if for no other reason (I wouldn’t mind watching it on Oxygen Channel) a movie about Captain Liberty or American Maid but make her black

2. An updated version of The Last Starfighter
With new CGI, I cant wait!

3. A film adaptation of the Spellsinger series by Allen Dean Foster

4. A children’s series of movies based on Johnny Quest with watches sold at Burger King and a corresponding XBOX  360 game that is released simultaneously with the movie.

5. An action movie about terrorists who fix the presidential election, take a harmless thing like the color wheel and use it to instill fear and hysteria and finally confuse the masses by suggesting that the democracy will crumble if gays are allowed to marry and if we stop saying Merry Christmas to our non-Christian cousins.

6. A sequel to Mystery Men

7. An existential comedy about ushers working in a suburban movie theater.

It is just hair

It is about time I have a hair post.

I have not had a permanent relaxed hairstyle in about ten years.  My final relaxer appointment was in November of 1999. I started my journey with roller sets.  I graduated to single strand twists.  For a few years, I enjoyed double strand twists.  Those became too expensive to maintain while I searched for  a house and I moved to the afro-puff. My hair broke off after a bad coloring job (professional) and I maintained the afro-puff for a few years.  Now, I am exploring flat ironed hair in the winter and double strand twists in the summer.  I am having a ball.  I don't know what I will do with my hair next and I love the flexibility.

I referenced several books back in 1999 before I made this decision.

No LyeThe book just reaffirmed my decision. 

I know longer have any of these books. I have given them all away to people who wanted to explore life after the relaxer.
BTW it is a little creepy that Amazon.com has my ordering history cataloging that far back. 
No Lye
Hair Raising
Good Hair

I would not suggest investing a lot into these types of books.  The books tend to chronicle the experiences of the author and the author's friends.  The advice is not always the best and the product recommendations should be taken as a suggestions.  
More later.  



From 1997 to 2010.
Hmm, the slideshow is not here. 
From the Frizzy Archives after the jump

My Dad the Chocolate Barney

When I was a kid, my dad was sick and twisted. I love him dearly but he wasn't normal.
Daddy killed the Easter Bunny
One Easter, when I was about 5 I asked about the bunny. He casually told me that he caught the Easter Bunny sneaking into the house and killed him. Cut him up and put him in the freezer. I was terrified for years to look into the freezer. When we moved a few years later I watched my mother intently as she emptied the freezer. I wanted to get a final look at the Easter bunny. He also claimed responsibility for the death of Santa Claus.

Daddy had a car that could fly
Dad loved to drive us around and try to convince us that his car could float. He would ride us around the block several times until we admitted that we felt the car float. He drove huge GM cars back then. And I swear they did kinda float over bumps.

Daddy was a rolling stone
Dad had been married before he met my mom, so I have an older sister and an older brother. He made sure that we always knew our family. His definition of family was loose, too. When untimely death took my sister's step-father, Dad treated her little brother like family.

During summers, this brave man would gather all five of us to stay with him for a few weeks. In his sparsely furnished apartments he would leave us while he worked. In this way, Dad was a genius. We rarely destroyed anything of value. I mean, we were all about 18 months apart. In hindsight, I kinda feel bad for my oldest sister. She would go from her mother's home with just her and her little brother to Dad's house where she was in charge of two boys and two girls.

Daddy prevented alcoholism
At night, we would sleep on the floor of his living room or separate into the guests rooms if they were available. To get the five of us to sleep Dad taught us a drinking game. We played Spoons and each time you lost we had to drink a gulp of beer. Back then, Dad drank really cheap beer. It was a recession after all and Red, White and Blue beer wasn't going to make us like drinking beer anytime soon. One visit, one of us figured out that the beer tasted better when mixed with fruit juices. Yes. Before the age of ten I was drinking fruit flavored malt drinks.

Over the years, each of us in turn would realize what Dad was doing and decline the beer. It became more fun to watch the younger ones get silly and sleepy. I love my dad. I can never turn my nose up to beer. Doing so would be akin to saying that I don't like my Dad. And I aint saying that.

Dad eats gross foods
Dad would order lots of pizza for us when we visited. One large pepperoni for us and one large pepperoni with anchovies for him. I am convinced that he did not regularly eat anchovies - only when we were visiting. Every once in a while the boys would be dared to eat an anchovy laden pizza. We figured that if one of us could tolerate the pizza then he know that the game was over and start ordering two pepperoni pizzas. It never happened. Today, anchovies do not frighten me. I welcome the smell of them, cuz they remind me of Dad and his silly tactics to horde pizza for himself.

Dad is picky about his TV
We watched a lot of videos when visiting Dad. As a baby boomer and student of the civil rights era, he felt compelled to augment our education with videos.
We watched old episodes of Amos and Andy to be educated on early TV and how it minstrelled the black culture. Imagine being a kid at your dad's feet and he is cursing at the TV. Cursing at the video that He Rented from the store and pointing out every stereotype and caricature. Then suddenly, he gets misty remembering his grandmother's love for the show.
Confusing.... and funny.

Then there were the blaxploitation movies of the 70s that he forced us to watch. Every visit a new movie, a new indignation remembered by Dad. He would spin tales of going to the movies with friends and leaving angry. I love watching those movies now. They remind me of Dad being angry at the TV and of being a kid. My favorite is still Blacula.

Dad also had a wacky streak. One day he snuck in a video before he went out for the night for us to watch. We were expecting some old pimp movie with guys wearing platforms and boas. Or an afro wearing good girl out for revenge with a gun. What we got was Faces of Death. Yes, there were guns but none of the fine drama you find in those old flix from the 70s. When he came home later that evening, he snickered while asking us if we enjoyed the movie. He played pranks like that on us a lot.

Dad loved his square burgers
Dad made sure that we knew our extended family. We took trips to Chicago, Kansas, Pittsburgh, Georgia and North Carolina. Dad was a man of habit, as well. No matter where we went, we always stopped at a Wendy's. We would take I-75 from Ohio to Georgia and stop every few hours for coffee and food at Wendy's. When I got old enough to drive to fast food restaurants, I avoided Wendy's for years. Now they are my second choice behind Steak N Shake. During the trips, we listened to jazz. Not this stuff you hear now but real classic jazz. I think only two of us enjoy jazz now. The other three can't stand to hear it anymore.

Talking to Dad now is tricky as he works for GM, I never know what mood he will be in when we speak. Will he be railing against the corporate machine or the government? Will he be considering retirement? Will he be talking about the upcoming jazz concert at the park? I never know.

Dad was protective
I went away to college in the early 90s. About 3 hours from him. That did not matter. He called my dorm room every Saturday at 8:30 am. This was before voicemail and cell phones. No matter what I did on Friday night, I had to be in my room by Saturday morning or I panicked. In return, he faithfully deposited 20 dollars into a savings account for me each week.

I will always be a beer loving, 1970's movie watching, jazz loving child of my father forever.

Happy Father's Day

Crafty Update
I completed the Red and White Granny Square