When I started looking

Hidden

This week's GBE2 prompt is Hidden

I enjoy blogging but my summer time activities and shenanigans occur so quickly that most of my wacky experiences overlap.

Sometimes, I find that situations develop hidden from my daily observations only to slap me in my face when I least expect it.

Hidden Victories

I have been working with the trainer since May. I completed a second fit test to gauge my progress. I have only lost 9 pounds. I figure that is about one pound a week. Since focusing on weight loss did not help my ego, I looked at my body fat percentage.

In May, my body fat was so high that it didn't warrant a category on the chart. Now, at 35% body fat, I am consider Well Below Average for my age group. I will take that D-.

That is progress, right????



Well Below Average



This means that while I went from 41.5% body fat to 35% body fat, I lost more than just 9 pounds I lost a few inches. When asked I will say, "I have lost about 16 pounds of fat." And offer no additional explanation. I like algebra.

Hidden Dinner

Last week, I weeded the garden and found the lettuce I had planted from seed. I thought the bunny had gotten to it all earlier this Summer. I picked the lettuce. It seemed pretty hardy and long. Brought it into the house and couldn't figure out why it was so long. So, I tasted it. They were turnip greens. I picked the roots and made dinner with garden okra, jalapeño peppers, chives and onions. I didn't grow the turkey leg which added flavor to my pot of greens but I could have.


 Dinner 

 Garden



Hidden Creatures

I learned something using my GoogleFu the other day.

Did you know that groundhogs have a Summer burrow and a winter hibernation nest? Yep. True facts. Now think back to the possum which had taken up residence under my den last winter.

You got it. The possum was a squatter. The borrow that had an opening into my basement belonged to Sir Groundhog and he returned this summer. Story starts on Tuesday the 31st. I had been weeding the garden for two days and I finally had made my way back to the house. I saw it then. I filled in a small hole a back corner. Google suggested that I place epson salt around the hole and around the garden to discourage the groundhog from returning.


evicted


As you well know, if that had worked, I would not be writing this blog entry. It failed spectacularly. On Friday, I was sitting in my den, reading a book looking out over the garden and I spot movement. I ran out and found that all of the blue collard greens had been eaten down to their stalks. I was pissed. I had just eaten half of my turnip greens the week before. This was the second season in a row that the groundhog ate my Georgia collard greens.

My chat rooms suggested that I place pinwheels around the garden. I sprayed the remaining collards and cabbages with my pepper mixture (local garden store). I jumped into the car and ran to a few stores. Picked up some pinwheels.

By the time I returned, I caught the groundhog in the act of eating my zucchini vines.

NO, I didn't spray the zucchini vines. Sir Groundhog was sitting on the fence and only had to slightly lower his head in order to eat my zucchini vines. I screamed at him and watched him slink away into his newly expanded burrow under my den.





 bombs away   I have been bombing his burrow every day for the past four days. He just returns and reopens it. I am out of bombs. All the area stores are out of fox urine (the natural enemy of the groundhog). I may be beaten.

This morning, I bought granules that allegedly discourage groundhogs from crossing over and into the garden. Likely story.  Spreading repellent 


As I got out of my car, I heard desperate mewing. The most adorable kitten was in my backyard. As I approached it with some soft cat food, it ran into a hole in my neighbor's garage. I dragged her outside to help me save the kitten in her garage. She has just returned from a long trip, only to learn that this kitten had been hiding and living in her garage for days. We tired to coax it out to make it safe but the groundhog ran past... scaring the little kitten into another neighbor's yard.

I hope it comes back. I could use a good outdoor cat to handle my garden pests.

Make your winky colossal

Not too long ago, I arrived late to my weekly knitting group. As I pulled off my jacket one of the gals exclaims,
"I am always the last to know."

I was startled by the excitement in her voice. I did not know what she meant until she said in a much softer tone,
"I see that you are expecting."
I replied just as quietly, "no, I am just fat."


I should get a t-shirt.

And that began my serious consideration for changing my diet and routine to lose some weight.


I started the Fat Smash diet back in February. It went well for the first three phases. Then one day, during a sorority event, someone pulled out a package of Reese's Eggs. I lost it.
I ate so many of those delicious peanut butter filled eggs that there was no turning back. By the third phase I had stopped paying attention to the diet. Needless to admit, I did not finish the diet.
So long control.
Hello Reese's Cups. I started putting them in my lunch box to control the urges.
I found that my lack of control for the delicious treats remained even when I tried to ration them.
Sigh
I simply must stay away from them.

Fortunately, some of the Fat Smash diets habits remained.
I still take small bags of carrots to work everyday. I still try to make a salad for dinner every night with chicken or a crab cake. I make large rice dishes that I divide out for my daily lunches. I add fish, chicken or beans for the protein.

I did lose a few inches and about 8 pounds. Then nothing.
So....
I have decided to take up jogging. More importantly, I decided to embark on a 5k training schedule.
I have learned something pretty funny.
At the gym, I used the indoor track to practice my run/walk intervals. Of course, I am sharing the track with amateur athletes. The downside of working at a college and using the gym. I am surrounded by beautiful people.
Younger beautiful people.
During one of my running intervals I noticed that the lithe young man wearing the "Panther CC" shirt walked faster than I could jog. I mentioned this to him.
It probably isn't a good idea to converse with people on the indoor track. The young man almost tripped over himself with laughter into a group of pack joggers. 
My jogging style is called slogging. Watch this video explaining it.

Slow Motion Jogging - watch more funny videos




More updates to follow. 
And the count down to turning forty begins - see below

Another boring Summer

Long Hot Summer

The past few weeks have been torture for me. First there is the escalating humidity and heat. Then the mosquitoes continue to keep me from weeding my garden or generally enjoying the outside. I have banana peppers that need to be picked. Carrots that need to be thinned. Collards that need attention. You should see the weeds. Of course, my lawn needs to be mowed. Anarchy complained about it yesterday. I suggested that she find someone to mow it. I could care less. I think lawn is stupid. It doesn't attract butterflies. I asked the young lady staying with me to get one of her male suitors to mow the lawn. She laughed at me. I still say a man isn't worth the price of salt if he is unwilling to mow your lawn.

I planted Cannas and cucumbers along the fence between our homes. The cannas will act as a natural fence and the cucumbers will keep both families happy. I am bribing my neighbor into shoveling my sidewalk next winter with summer vegetables. Do you think it will work?

I have been working on a plan to rid myself of these extra pounds all summer. I have lost nothing. nothing at all.

1. There is yoga on Mondays - with this new instructor I am finally enjoying yoga.
2. a minimum of two days a week at the gym weightlifting and elliptical machine - with a good vampire book and mp3 player
3. on cool days I attend dance lessons - there is no air in the building
4. I garden, and of course- when I am not be sucked dry
5. I craft - for God's sake, stop me from buying more yarn.

I joined the campus gym. After work, I shed my career clothes for lycra and cotton. I usually run into students that I know. It used to bother me that they could make out my body type in my athletic clothes. As if they had additional personal information. I call the college students at the campus gym, the "Beautiful People." The slim 20 somethings and their lackadaisical attitude towards sweating. Or the slender athletes that are grooming their perfect muscles. I can deal with all of that because I am not the only frumpy looking person there. I do not mind using the machine between to former cross-country runners with abs of steel and legs of iron if behind me there is another out of shape 30 something professional employee. I like seeing the 40 year old alum playing pick-up basketball with the fraternity boys. I enjoy taking yoga with retirees. What I do not like is the smells. I am convinced that some of students work-out even if they haven't showered in a few days. I have been sent off the machines more than once because of just plain STINK. Neither music playing from my ear buds nor a good book can distract me from smells that emit from the unbathed.

This summer I have been pretty busy with craft projects. My birthday passed. It was fun. I asked for $7 to buy yarn from those who insisted on bringing gifts. Hey, my needs are simple. After six years, my favorite local yarn store is closing. I had been shopping there since 2005. I thought that it had beat my bad luck. I was afraid to patron the store because in my history all of my favorite yarn stores close soon after I shop there. It happened to me in Detroit, in Stow, in Akron and finally in Toledo. What is the Frizzy Hooker supposed to do about a local yarn store?

Yet another day in my life

This stuff only happens to me.  My doctor prescribed Metformin for me to combat my prediabetes condition.  The side effects have made me dizzy, nauseous and left me with feelings of butterflies in my tummy. 

I have endured it for the past three days at work. Think that I was experiencing anxiety from the diagnosis and my grandmother’s recent hospitalization.  I had no rum or vodka so I had used exercise to make the strange feeling go away.  Thursday I had had a pretty rough day.  I went to the gas station and to the library after work and I felt horrible.  When the alarm sounded this morning I felt that I needed to stay home while I adjusted to the medicine.  I glanced at the clock which read 8:49 am.  I panicked. Not only did I have a terrible sleep but I had overslept.  I called the office to notify them that I would not join them and that I would have called earlier but I overslept.  The workday begins at 8:15 am.  I felt terrible in having called in sick so late. I leapt out of bed to the kitchen for a glass of water.  The oven clock read 6:37 am.  I felt like a dork.  I have no explanation for my clock jovial nature.  I still went back to bed.

I have two books to review to learn how to manage my health without the assistance of diabetes medication. 

Wish me luck or give me some suggestions before I eat another delicious cookie.

Been A Long Diet

Well

It has been forever since I have written a proper blog.  The creative writing class that I took during the spring  made me less likely to blog.

In the class, I had to write small autobiographical stories based on techniques and memory tricks.  I would post them to the online forum and my classmates would add commas.  I am terrible with commas, proper nouns and balancing metaphors.  I had to enlist the aid of an editor.   At first I thought that writing a blog and an autobiographical short story would be vastly different.  I wrote poorly and bored my reader.

Here is an excerpt of my fairy tale.

 

            Once a upon a time, a young family called Hooker with two little girls moved to a modern  castle in the Land of Toledo.  The two little girls fought and argued, disappointing their mother whose relationship with her own sister was stronger than any in the world.  One day the mother called the little girls outside to wave goodbye to their father. The dutiful girls said their goodbyes and continued to live with their mother in the castle.  They had no reason to miss him as he visited regularly. 

 

Awful. I know. 

In this story I wrote about my work experiences.

 

When I began my job, 4 and ½ years ago, there was nothing but an outline of responsibilities and forms.  I had sought training, learned new techniques, adopted curriculum and consulted with experts to improve outcomes.  While I was indulged, my position was ultimately a support function for an essential position in the program.  I felt powerless the day I was overruled during a staff meeting because my suggestion while logical and valid was not time efficient.  At this meeting, I finally understood that my position was the undesired portion of a pivotal function within the program.  There were other occasions where my advice or recommendations were discounted because of tradition or expediency despite it being the best response for the students that we served.  This began a conflict.  The program functioned as a 30 year old machine maintained by mechanics who ignored 30 years of innovation.  Who patronized the new mechanics with their fancy tools and resources by offering to them a doughnut, cup of coffee, and a pat on the head.

 

After my editor helped me with this she suggested that I try humor: 

 

That was when I began to perform well in the course. 

I wrote about my grandfather and his dementia. I wrote about trying to train cats. I wrote about tormenting my little sister with a tub of butter.  I wrote about creating handmade masterpieces that were hidden in basements by their recipients.  I wrote about  roommates, sex and, … well, you read some of it in a previous post.    

I got an A in that course.

 

Since I have written on this wall. Many things have occurred.  I have gained 15 pounds.  That means two dress sizes.  I love it when people pretend not to notice don’t you? I mention that I am overweight and how it is driving me crazy and I get responses like “you are not fat. You are fine” Sometimes my revelation is met with surprise.   I have stated that my weight gain is out of control and I can not figure out its source and I am matter-of-factly told that I am probably just eating too much. 

I want you to think about that for just a moment.  Wouldn’t you have ALREADY RULED THAT OUT. I am 5 4” and I am tipping almost 200 lbs.  I am not obese.  I can get away with saying “thick” with my Black peers but I am not happy.

I am being successfully treating for narcolepsy, SADS, hypothyroidism and allergic rhinitis.  Each of my doctors say that I should not be gaining weight with the treatments.  They are concerned. 

In the 21st Century, we members of what might be the fattest country in the world have access to gazillions of datum related to calories, fat content, carbs and fiber.  There is a new diet on the best seller list each quarter.  Our celebrities are hounded for their diet secrets and ridiculed for the weight gain.  I am a moderately intelligent woman who has taken advantage of my job’s wellness program, which for me includes a coach and an exercise program.  I would freaking just admit it if I were simply overeating………………

 

So

I have had to alter something in my life with my extra baggage.  I got over being completely upset over my belly touching my thighs when I use the bathroom.  I use objects to scratch my back.  I have discovered body shapers. I eat healthy snacks.  I wear more jewelry and make-up.  I look longingly at my size 7 shoe collection.  I can only wear 7 ½’s now. 

I taught myself to knit and walk at the same time.

Okay, you probably read that sentence twice. 

 I found that I can get a moderate exercise routine in while completing some of my craft projects.  No, I do not knit and walk in public although, I might…..

I am determined to get my work-out where ever and when ever I can. 

I wear a pedometer to track my steps each day.  I attend line dancing classes (which is a guaranteed 5000 steps each session.)  I use Calorie Count and a diet journal to track my food and weight.  I measure myself each week. 

I am blowing up.

I have tried reducing wheat and that only seemed to help my heartburn.  I am reducing corn products and I have discovered that corn is in everything.  It is quite sickening how much corn we eat.  I have never been a regular at fast food restaurants but I do watch how much I eat when I eat at sit-down eateries. 

I am on top of this.  But when I climb on that scale it just gives in…….

I am determined to get healthy again.

Besides, I want to try online dating and I don’t want to check “overweight” under the body type category. 

More to come. 

If it is Not One Thing.....

I had some news. In the last two weeks I have met with two of my doctors.

First, my GP was alarmed at the amount of weight that I have gained since the last time I met with her. She sent me for a glucose test since diabetes runs in my family and I have been experiencing symptoms that led her to order the test. This week, I met with my sleep disorder specialist. He was equally alarmed at my wieght gain. He said that it is "highly unusual" for someone to gain weight while on the sleep therapy drug.

There goes those phrases that doctor's use -- those codes. I have been thinking about this phrase for several days. "Highly unusual" Me thinks that itnis code for 'something is seriously wrong.' Everyone else lost weight while taking this drug. Then he says that if I have pre-diabetes I must immediately come off the drug. I went to the Net for some insight. Found a few strings that discussed the relationship of certain sleep medications that cause diabetes, pancreatitis and acute pancreatitis. Of course.....

My Line Sister used to say all of the time. "If it is not One Thing it is Ten!

So you are probably wondering, well how much weight have you gained. Hmmm.... I started tracking my weight in April because I thought I was going crazy. I have gained 18 pounds from March 15 to June 15. More than twenty since last year when I started the medicine. The sleep doctor told me to lose weight. Like I haven't noticed....

Like I can reasonably fit my clothes or my SHOES. I mean seriously. Is he joking? Losing weight is always on my mind.

So, I call Steelcurtain, with whom I have been having friendly conversations lately and I asked him to help me lose weight. He told me to stop drinking. What the Dish Network Service....

Yes, I believe that having Dish Network Service is like living in Hell. A Hell where everything is my error. It could be that my phone line is outdated. So I have AT&T come out and upgrade the 1950 era lines. Or it could be that there is something wrong with the line.

So, I install a brand new line dedicated to the receiver. Or it could be that my DSL filter is not working.

So, I purchase new ones from Radio Shack and the salesperson suggests that nothing will make the Dish receiver work better.

Or (this is the best one yet - heard it last week) it could be that I picked up the phone after the Dish Receiver attempted to call the Dish system and heard the announcement that you hear when you call a bad number. You know... "check the number and try again..."

Now, have you EVER heard of a time where if the extension was picked up the phone connection was interrupted or otherwise not connected? Neither have I. But Dish Network has trained all of its Indian representatives to suggest that everything that could possibly or remotely be your fault, is the reason why the Dish receiver will not order PPV movies or anything else. AND you have to pay the $2 fee to order a PPV over the phone. And if you want a tech to come out and verify that the stupid foreign made receiver is INDEED calling the wrong number, YOU must pay $55.00. Because the warranty has elapsed. AND if it is broken, you must pay for the S&H fee to receive a new one. I HATE CALL CENTERS.

But I am off topic...And losing my vodka induced feelings of euphoria. I begged Steelcurtain to take the vodka and rum in my house. He refused -- actually suggested that I have willpower. As I draft this blog entry, completely blitzed on Vodka and Dr. Pepper.......

Not to mention the neighbor that works as a bartender and turned me onto this great rum with a hint of vanilla that is $10 cheaper than Captain Morgan (which I despise) and so smooth that I forgot what it is named..... I decided to scoff at his suggestion that I stop drinking... Perhaps, when the bottle is empty....... Besides a friend is turning 30 tomorrow. I wonder "What was he thinking."

Well, I am going to have to do a few things differently.

First, I joined this site.

My Member name is Ibrizzy (I know, I forgot the "F") Since I have already been working out and watching what I eat - I am not sure what else can be done.