Not Dead Yet

That is how I feel right now.
I am tired, I am bored, I have too many decisions to make and I just want hide under my covers and sleep.

I am patiently waiting for confirmation that my position will be renewed.
My boss ignores me.
My sorority is asking big things of me.
My housemates are getting testy over juice and water pitchers maintenance.
This city recycling initiative thing is creating a competitive environment at home.
I have not vacuumed in 30 days.
I have not dusted in 30 days.
My BMs are not what they used to be.
I have to cut my workouts short because I don't want to shower at the gym.
My cat wants tasty treats every day instead of only on Fridays. the angry mewing is hard to ignore.
But more than that.....
I need my house plants to be healthy.
This winter, I have lost two houseplants.

and poor little Jimmy is dying.



I can't control my weight.
I can't control my job.
I can't control my cat.
I can't control my roomies.
I can't convince my BF to stop shaving his head.
But Hell.... I thought I could keep a plant alive.

Poor Jimmie. I bought it in December during the sorority fund-raiser just for my office. It is a fir tree. I thought that it would do well at the office.
It did great until I went on vacation. Now, when one brushes past it. The top branches are dry and break off the larger branches. The staff like to suggest that I throw it away or take it home.
One horrible staff member has threatened to assassinate Jimmie.
He has put it in writing. Yup. Sent me two email.

Jimmie is not dead.


My week didn't begin with the threats to my office plant.
I scheduled my annual physical and women's wellness appointment on Monday. I had to psyche myself up for the appointment. I remember the days when I used to reschedule it at least two times just because....... Now that I am older, I just take the day off after the appointment to rebound from the indignities.

I met with the nurse, who actually asked me new questions this year. She asked about my dental and eye health. I am still 3/4 of an inch shorter than I was 10 years ago. I am growing to accept this. I don't like it. But I accept the truth.
She leaves after talking to me about the bruise on my arm to undress.

As I lie on the examination table bare a$$ed to the world wearing nothing but an open hospital gown and an overgrown napkin the doctor enters with "I have good news and bad news."

Not the scenario in which I imagined EVER hearing that phrase. She tells me that due to my insurance policy we cannot have the appointment. She talks to me for about 4 minutes explaining that I can only have this appointment every 366 days and I am 14 days too early.

I am still basically naked as she is speaking.
I just want her to shut up and allow me to gather my clothes and run from her office. -- only to return in 2 weeks.

Thank goodness, there was no co-pay for their screw up. I asked the assistant to check my records before scheduling the appointment. So much for that!

I left the office and ordered sushi from the take-out place. Tarunam is amazing.
Then I went to the dealership to permit them to complete a recall repair.
That took two hours.
I just wanted to go home and hide under the covers and get some sleep.
Maybe next time

My Sweet Revenge

I have been waiting for a phone call for about a month.
Waiting.
Today. It came
Some woman told me that I have an opportunity to lower all of my credit card rates. She warned me that if I do not act right away this opportunity will expire. She cautions that this will be the last time that she will call to offer the opportunity.
I pressed the prompt.
I was transferred to a man who asked me a series of questions about my credit card debt.
Do I have cards with interest rates above 10 percent?
How much do I think I owe?
He then congratulated me on my good credit history as reported by Experian.

Finally he asked, would I like to lower the interest rates?

Well of course.
He began to explain the process ....

And I hung up on him.


I have been waiting to do that for almost two months. I was afraid they were never to call again after I registered my office number with the DoNotCall website. I only wish that I had been knitting when they had called. I would have pretended to have dropped a stitch or something while....

Those sneaky bast@rds
In the past, when I used to ask to be removed the assistant would pretend to take my number and then hang up on me when I was talking.
The time that I requested to speak to a supervisor, she said 'okay,' put me on hold then I heard the dial tone.


My mission, is to hang up on them each time they call. To answer their questions. To feign interest. To lie if it is funny and to HANG UP on them in midsentence.

Lovely