Overheard

Last month I had an appointment with one of my specialist.

Yes, once you pass 35 you will have specialists. Just keep living.

This one is in a small medical building. The reception area is in one suite while his patient rooms are in another. I am escorted by his nurse to his patient area. On this day, a guy stops my nurse to inform her that the restroom door is locked. She looked at me then said to him, "is someone in there?" He repeats, "I want to use the restroom but the door is locked." She says, "Someone is probably in there." He was unconvinced.
She walks to the restroom door and knocks. The guys inside yells, "give me a minute!"
We both look at the idiot and she says, "when the door is locked it means that it is occupied."

Douchebag

Last week, I visited a local landmark to purchase wine bottles. I am attempting to create a mint infused vodka cocktail. I get the bottles from the outlet, pick the mint from my yard, add simple syrup, white brandy and vodka. It takes a few weeks. I can't wait.

While at the checkout counter, a woman with an accent interrupts the cashier to ask; "Is there another outlet?"

I should mention that this store is a 'must-see' destination for tourists. It has everything and is one of my favorite "last minute gift" resources. So, a woman with an accent at the store is not unusual. It makes me very proud of my hometown.

The cashier answered, "No. This is the only outlet."
She asks, "Well, isn't there another outlet on Erie St?"
Now, I have turned so that I can see her face.
He responds, "This is Erie St."
Ignoring him she says, "Well, I know that this is the Erie St. Market. But where is the outlet on Erie St?"
My mouth begins to drop, like 'waaaah?'
He motions to the front of the building, "That is Erie street out there and this is the Erie St. Market."
She counters with, "I could not find Erie street on any map at all. It is very confusing. "
I glance at the counter and see business cards that have an image of a map on them to indicate the location of the Outlet on Erie Street at the Erie street market I imagine throwing them at her. Besides, she was at the freaking market why was she confused.
He repeats, "That is Erie street out there and this is the Erie St. Market."
She mumbles something about maps being useless for finding the Erie St Market as she continues to walk around the Outlet at the ERIE STREET MARKET.

I verified that I was not asleep and this was reality and I began to wonder why she could not connect her current location to the one she sought. She found the Erie St Market and was shopping in the Outlet but she was not convinced.

Noodelhead.

Other People's Kids report

I watched Trey this weekend. I arranged a playdate with my friend's son and they played till they passed out on the floor.
it was almost 1 am when we got back to my house. I carried him into the house, into the bathroom and instructed him to "use the potty."
I left the room to get his toothpaste and brush.
When I returned, I found him fiddling with his pants. I began to assist him only to realize that he had relived himself already.
Since I had carried him up two flights of stairs, I knew that he HAD been dry. Which meant that he had misinterpreted my instructions as permission to just let himself go.
I giggled too hard to be angry and got him ready for bed, which he refused to sleep in. Trey insisted that I make a pallet on the floor for him. Go figure. BTW he remained dry all night.

My sister called me last night. She wanted to know what to do about her 12 month old's cough. I guess that she thought I would have suggestions because when we visited our mother my allergy to her dog caused me to cough uncontrollable.
Anyway. I am not a doctor. I am not a mother.
I couldn't figure out why she had forgotten these facts. So I gave her the most outrageous advice thinking that she would get the obvious~ I have no idea how to care for a sick infant.
I told her to take a damp sheet and cover the baby's crib to keep out the dust and assist her cough.
I think she may have actually attempted this. Maybe I should give more advice.

Finally, the Sun!

Finally, some nice weather. Perhaps, my mood will lift.

I need to till the garden this weekend. I sigh everytime I look at my neighbor's prepared garden plot. She works from home and it is not fair.

Someone told me today that I was late with my garden as his seeds were already down. I quipped, "I don't do seeds. There are too many small business owners and local greenhouses out there that I can support for me to waste my time with seeds."

Really, I haven't forgotten that there is an economic crisis. And neither should you.

I will admit that my favorite flowers are in the daisy family and they tend to be expensive. I planted shasta daisy seeds last year and I hope that they flower this year. I have echinacea, mums, and black eyed susans. I plant sunflowers each year. I plant them for the birds. In a few weeks I will unearth my cannas from their winter storage. I hope to find all my stored gladiolas and have then in the ground by May.
So exciting.
Today my tulips bloomed. I think they look great.

Did you know that if your knitting is still tight after rubbing wax paper over your bamboo needles and your hands ache then that means you need to relax your tension? Neither did I until I met with my knitting group last night.I asked one of them to FROG it because I could not bear to do soShe struggled with removing the project from my needles. The other gals kinda gaped at her, n looked at me and then they asked me questions...
"Do you normally knit that tightly?" "Do you crochet tightly?"

I was happy to respond to the questions since it distracted me from watching her unravel my beautiful preemie sleeper for noone.
Mark my words. I will not attempt a baby gift for a friend ever again. My efforts always meet with disaster.

Later, I asked another gal to explain to me how to fix my geisha wrap in tunisian stitch.
She arranged it on my perfectly. It was not too big. I had it turned around too much. I think it is lovely. According to my Ravelry page I have been working on it since last June. In reality, I hid it in a bag for six months because it looked "Ugh" to me. It wasn't until the same gal commented on my project page saying that it looked good did, I attempt to complete it. Voila!
I love it.
Only 4 more hibernating projects from 2008 to complete.


So hanging out with my knitting buddies lifted my spirit. Thanks gals.

How to Make Grape Juice

Yesterday I unveiled to Denise the baby sleeper that I am making for our friend Nada.
It is a lovely shade of teal with contrasting celery in soft acrylic.

Hisss. I know what you are thinking. Acrylic is bad for baby clothes because it melts.
I ask you. In what fombing universe are you in where roaring flames are near infants?
Unless my friend plans to dry the sleeper over an fire pit with her son still in it, I don't see the danger.

Denise says, "you better complete that quickly. He will be big for it by the time it is done."
I was puzzled. I had followed the instructions for a 3-6 month sized sleeper.
I selected worsted weight yarn and used a size seven needle as recommended by the designer. It couldn't be too small.

I reviewed the instructions and decided to test the gauge.

The gauge was perfect.

I didn't understand why everyone in my office felt the sleeper would be too small. I had done everything correctly.

Then I saw it.

Gauge: I worked the gauge swatch for the 4-8 lb size only
22 sts and 30 rows= 4” in Stockinette St on size 6 needles

Apparently, I am a tight knitter because on the thicker yarn and larger needle I still maintained the smaller size. So I have a sleeper for a newborn and NOT a 3-6 month old.

I almost cried.
I cursed knitting.

After speaking to a random person who I stopped in the hallway to demand that she tell me her opinion regarding the baby weight limitations of the sleeper, I decided to continue the preemie/newborn sleeper and donate it to a ministry or a ward.

You know the old saying.

Spring

I have no real topic today.
Just some Homeowner stuff
Things are pretty normal.

I am keeping a careful eye on my peonies. This year, I expect them to be grand. I moved them from the backyard in 2005 after I discovered them. Whomever had been caring for the lawn before I purchased the house, had been mowing them down.
Of course, I have never been concerned with a well maintained lawn and I discovered them after a long break from cuttings. And people think there is nothing to be gained from ignoring your lawn.
They have been doing well in the front yard except for the two that are cursed with shade from the neighbor’s hideous tree. I send eye daggers at that tree every day. One day it will die for me.

I have to figure out how to lay the grub killer down without killing the ants that I need to force the peonies to open. I panicked last year. I didn’t realize that the grub killer pellets murdered ants, grasshoppers and beetles, too. There was no insect life at all for weeks.

I was devastated for days until they finally showed up
This is what they look like.

Last fall, I transplanted my grandfather’s peony bush to my front yard. Despite my grandmother’s doubt, the peony is pushing up through the ground. She should have more faith in me. Grandpa has dementia. He seems to think that he mows the lawn and trims back his bushes regularly. But he really sits in his lazy-boy all day watching Westerns on their 19 inch. I couldn’t bear to let his beautiful bushes die from neglect or from some overzealous lawncare company. Unfortunately, when I went to their house to check on the original, I could not find it. I hope that I did not accidentally kill his 30 year old bush in my desire to have a little of him at my house.

If it were not for spring flowers and birds I would hate spring. I would hate the constant rain. I would hate the cold nights and dreary days. I do not look forward to taking my allergy eye drops, loratadine or Benadryl more frequently.
The purple crocuses are first followed by blue scillia and yellow daffodils. As they die off, the tulips are readying themselves for their presentation and the peonies and irises are stretching their stems towards the spring sun. I love the spring for this reason.

I love checking on the flowers before heading off to work. I love that my campus has gardens everywhere for me to enjoy.

I just hate the sneezing. I hate being cold. I am sick of having to flat iron my hair from rain. My shoes get dirty from stepping in mud and I still need to apply the crab grass killer on dry soil.

Spring. Whatever

Crafty Updates
I am almost complete with my geisha wrap. It refuses to remain on my shoulders when I wear it. Apparently, I did not check the width properly or it was designed for a defensive lineman.

I have tried edging it was a smaller sized hook but I am still working it out. I will probably have to ask my crafting friends to help me fix it. Or give it to my best friend with broader shoulders. She gets more gifts from me that way.

This year my goal is to complete all 2008 FO’s. The geisha wrap will be the first. Then I will complete the red and white granny square. Joy and more work for me.

On the Other People's Kids report
Tonight I got a call from Tinky, Lilt and Trey's mom.
She began by saying, "We do not have any hot water."
I had no idea what to expect after that opening. I paused. Why was she calling me? I am not a plumber and I don't have any coupons for water heaters.
She went on to say. After an exhaustive explanation of the ordering and installation process for a new water heater she says, "How do you feel about a visitor?"
Then it hit me.

This was the Lamest Excuse for a babysitting request that I had ever heard. I told her that I should disconnect the call on principle.
Hell no, I didn't believe that she had a busted water heater until she told me that they had the installation scheduled for Friday. Which meant that they currently have hot water but not on Friday and she needed me to watch Trey on Friday.
I laughed at her.


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Then I said yes.

I am a sucker at heart.

A Lesson

A older student (over 50) just told me that most stuck up people are pretty and that my mother must be pretty cuz I am stuck up.

I said, "A-huh."
Then she began to lecture me about the snootiness of people who know that they are pretty.
I said, "A-hun."
She responded, "Oh, that is all you have to say, 'a-huh'. Well I have spoken my piece."
I looked at her and finally said, "a-hunh."

I guess she told me.

Work-out music

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