Oh Gawd. I think I broke my foot

I have never felt so out of sorts before.


I registered to attend webinar using GoToMeetings today.  I had to cancel attending a Martinis and Makeovers program sponsored by a Mary Kay friend at a local wine bar and lounge.  I already miss the martinis and pampering. I went to the gym to exercise. I came home ate, showered and got ready for the meeting. I am relaxed.

Logged into my email to retrieve the codes and panicked.

Fail

I had been operating under the assumption that the meeting began at 9 p.m.  The notice read 8 - 10 pm CDT.  I scrambled to download the gotomeeting software using mozilla. That failed miserably after four or so tries.  I switched to Internet Explorer. Successfully downloaded the software then picked up the house phone.Fail againThe access number was a long distance number.  Cursing myself for removing long distance on the house phone, I look for my cell phone.

Fail
It is no where to be found. My roommates keeps calling it while I look in my purse, my car, my raincoat (oh yeah, it was raining cats and dogs and I have a detached garage). I am wet and phone less. My roommate hears me cursing and she permits me to use her new Palm phone

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU USE A PALM PHONE

It takes me three tries to dial the phone number.  I fail 9 times to key in the access code.  After each series of three failed attempts the call disconnects forcing me to redial and fail again.  

I begin cursing like a sailor.She laughs like a hyena and offers to key in the number.  She struggles... And giggles.  

I am panicking because I am still under the false belief that 8 pm CDT is the same as EDT.  
Once I am on the call, I realize to my relief that I am not late for the meeting.  I have my roommmate mute the phone.  That is the only thing I did right all night. I settle down at my desk and open a few windows and chat with some hoars while I wait for the meeting to start.  
I drink Merlot the roommate brought home.

Pull out my crochet since I am still plugging away at that baby blanket for a girl.

The meeting starts and I don't have the materials I need to follow the presentation.

I quickly stand up ---


Fail

I don't rise straight up, instead my socked foot slips on the wood floor under the wood desk with a loud crash.

I curse.

My roommate runs out of her bedroom to check on me. I am still cursing.

I am hopping around on one foot while looking through my briefcase for the review materials.

I locate the materials, plop into my chair and fumble with her stupid phone to announce myself and then mute the call.

Fail

I ask my roommate to unmute the phone so I can announce myself then mute the phone so I can remain on the call.



For all my rushing the first hour of the webinar was a read-along.  I guess in this day and age you have to hit each style of learning.

First:  Send an electronic document to members to review one month in advance. Hands on

Second:  Create visual presentation with the images of the pages. Visual

Third:  Read the document while the pages appear on the webinar window. Only adding reference information.  Auditory


In order to ask a question I have to unmute the phone.  Knowing that I will fail at that simple task, I try to send an instant message.  I inform the meeting organizer that I an unfamiliar with the mute function on the phone.  She replies, "dial special code to unmute your phone."   
The code would have worked if I had not accidentally disconnected the call while trying to bring up the fucking keypad. 


Fail


It takes me two failed attempts at dialing the number.  My roommate's two failed attempts before she successfully gets me back into the meeting and they have ended the session.

Fail fail fuckity fail

I endure all of this with a throbbing foot.

Where is the wine.....

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BTW

My roommate tweeted the entire adventure from her point of view.