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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Today's blog title comes courtesy of Vanilla Wafer's spam box.
Aw VW. I miss you.
This post is loosely based on the Wonder prompt for GBE2 this week. 

I haven't written in a few weeks. Blame it on the changing weather and SADS.
First, my grammie became ill. That was a distraction. Then my semi-annual sinus-infection appeared. After that I stopped sleeping. I do not enjoy the Fall as much as I should.
In between those events, Uncle Handyman did what all handymen do. He disappeared. I learned later that he was with Grammie. So, all is forgiven. Kinda.
During this time I acquired a houseguest. mmmm, an intermittent houseguest.


She is an OPK, daughter of my cousin.

I shall call the little houseguest, Bebe.
At 17 years old she is quite sassy. Delightfully so.
I invited her to use my house computer to apply for jobs.
She took me up on the offer.

is what she said when she entered my home

Sadly, Uncle Handyman's worker left messes everywhere. I avoided cleaning for the fear that he would return to leave another mess after his departure.
I finally had to tell Uncle Handyman that I didn't want his worker in my home by himself because he was slow and messy.
Unfortunately, Grammie's illness required Uncle Handyman to leave his worker unattended to take her to appointments. Finally, I paid them to leave.
And what a mess his worker left.
At least I have this to report

Old kitchen ceiling 
New kitchen ceiling

Back to my cousin visiting me. I enjoyed Bebe's visits. If you follow my OPK tag you will note that I find OPK's to be full of wonder and humor. I am honored that any child would share my company. Bebe's visit warmed my biological clock. It may have started ticking again.
I would pick Bebe up or her mom would drop her off to my house. After settling her things, Bebe would log into the computer, apply for jobs, connect with friends on facebook, and watch TV. Someone would escort the teenager back to her own house after a few hours. Her half day visits turned into overnight visits without much warning.
But this presented a problem, so I asked
She responded with an exaggerated shrug of her shoulders.
She put it back on me. I had to find her a way to school in the morning.
This is how OPKs get over on me. Their problems become my problems.
Remember a few years back when my nephew turned me into his personal valet? Just imagine me tying the shoes of an eight year old boy because I was too silly to recognize his deceit.
Since I had somehow become a personal assistant to Bebe, I contacted Leeza, the next door neighbor. She agreed to carpool both Bebe and her daughter to School.
Problem solved.
I informed Bebe that she would not miss School. Unimpressed, she mumbled, "Okay."

One day, I spotted her wearing my clothes. When I asked, she explained that she was cold. Okay, I guess. Resourceful, I thought.
Sitting in living room after a long day of work, I pick up my roommate to select a channel and I noticed that she had created and labeled her own Favorites list of channels on the cable. I found this amusing.

A few days later, I found new recordings on the DVR. Bebe had set the timer for a few of her shows.
My snacks were dwindling, as well. I went to the store and bought some microwaveable snacks for her to eat after School. I wanted her out of my rice cakes. I need them for my Nutella. Oh, I gave her a key to the house so she could use the computer.
My sister started teasing me that I had a new roommate. I began to wonder if she was right. Then I thought about it.

I reminded her that roommates pay rent. Bebe, ate my food, used my computer, slept in my bed, left her dirty clothes for me to wash but did not pay rent.She was an OPK. Not my teenager.
Just to prove it, I asked Bebe to dust mop the floor on her next visit. I demonstrated the technique, assured her that it wasn't like sweeping or mopping. She agreed.... But she also has not returned to the house.
I wonder why.


Jo said...

Yep, yep, yep. OPKs are such fun to spoil and entertain and then they grow into OPTs (other people's teens) and we don't understand how the heck they got to be such mooches! ha ha ha We, did it! Oh well, such is life. We get to send them home, eventually.

pbquig said...

Your blog is new to me, I found it on GBE2, and I really enjoyed the post. I look forward to more.

The Frizzy Hooker said...

Thanks for visiting.
Hopefully I will figure out the font issue next year.

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