Friday, December 30, 2011
I am writing this post in response to this week's GBE2 prompt
Free writing for 15 minutes.
I have a topic. A subject to consider.
What will be the subject titles for my posts for 2012?
For 2011, I used the subject headings from my SPAM folder. I must say AT and T does an excellent job of filtering out such email message subjects.
I don't have a favorite for 2011 but "Blood won't leave Willie" would make a list of my top two.
The show titles for episodes of the Jerry Springer show are being considered for my 2012 posts.
I just don't know if they are varied enough
"My sister stole my boyfriend"
"Transexuals confront secret lovers"
My content isn't so risky.
I just like to write about the funny people that I know and when the darndest things happen to me.
And happen to me often they do.
No one will forget the possum under the couch.
Nor will I
Or my drunken texts from a night of sake and martinis
FYI Don't mix sake and martinis.
I think I am going to have some sake tonight. Yup.
This weekend I expect to spend the last days of 2011 with my dad and his family.
That should be entertaining. My step-sister has three little girls stair-stepped and adorable.
I can't wait to give to them their Giftmas presents.
I still have to head to Game Stop to purchase a gift card for my nephew.
When I went there on Sunday it was crowded and it smelled like man funk.
You know man-funk. It smelled like a living room during a football party- including snacks.
I was out shopping at Hallmark to pick up some cards for 40% off. I like Hallmark cards. I feel that when I send them for the holidays, I am impressing my friends with my cultured expressions of season's greetings.
I really like Hallmark, I also frequent their stores because they are locally owned by small business owners. I am doing two good things with my patronage.
I can find the most interesting small gifts from their stores. I just wish that so many hadn't closed back in 2008. It takes more of an effort to shop there and it is so much easier to pick up a card at the grocers or some stupid box store.
I did not pick up a calendar. I like to wait a long as possible to purchase a calendar. I find that someone will give me one for free that I will absolutely love if I just wait.
I do head to the locally owned garden and beer making supply store for their annual Farmer's Almanac calender for its garden hints. I picked up some basil seeds while I was there.
I am going to attempt grow indoor basil this winter for my cooking.
I just know it will not work for me.
Just like my Christmas Cactus has not bloomed in two years.
I probably need to plan that better. I want a bloom. Dawggonit.
At least the cat doesn't bother that plant.
She just likes to poo when ever I am down or up wind of her litter box. Doesn't seem to matter how much I spend on the litter.
Well that is 15 minutes. I hope to write one more post before 2012. I hope you enjoy it and all the other ones.
Happy New Year
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Today's blog title comes courtesy of Vanilla Wafer's spam box.
Aw VW. I miss you.
This post is loosely based on the Wonder prompt for GBE2 this week.
I haven't written in a few weeks. Blame it on the changing weather and SADS.
First, my grammie became ill. That was a distraction. Then my semi-annual sinus-infection appeared. After that I stopped sleeping. I do not enjoy the Fall as much as I should.
In between those events, Uncle Handyman did what all handymen do. He disappeared. I learned later that he was with Grammie. So, all is forgiven. Kinda.
During this time I acquired a houseguest. mmmm, an intermittent houseguest.
She is an OPK, daughter of my cousin.
|I shall call the little houseguest, Bebe.|
I invited her to use my house computer to apply for jobs.
She took me up on the offer.
Sadly, Uncle Handyman's worker left messes everywhere. I avoided cleaning for the fear that he would return to leave another mess after his departure.
I finally had to tell Uncle Handyman that I didn't want his worker in my home by himself because he was slow and messy.
Unfortunately, Grammie's illness required Uncle Handyman to leave his worker unattended to take her to appointments. Finally, I paid them to leave.
And what a mess his worker left.
At least I have this to report
|Old kitchen ceiling|
I would pick Bebe up or her mom would drop her off to my house. After settling her things, Bebe would log into the computer, apply for jobs, connect with friends on facebook, and watch TV. Someone would escort the teenager back to her own house after a few hours. Her half day visits turned into overnight visits without much warning.
|But this presented a problem, so I asked|
|She responded with an exaggerated shrug of her shoulders.|
This is how OPKs get over on me. Their problems become my problems.
Remember a few years back when my nephew turned me into his personal valet? Just imagine me tying the shoes of an eight year old boy because I was too silly to recognize his deceit.
Since I had somehow become a personal assistant to Bebe, I contacted Leeza, the next door neighbor. She agreed to carpool both Bebe and her daughter to School.
I informed Bebe that she would not miss School. Unimpressed, she mumbled, "Okay."
One day, I spotted her wearing my clothes. When I asked, she explained that she was cold. Okay, I guess. Resourceful, I thought.
Sitting in living room after a long day of work, I pick up my roommate to select a channel and I noticed that she had created and labeled her own Favorites list of channels on the cable. I found this amusing.
My snacks were dwindling, as well. I went to the store and bought some microwaveable snacks for her to eat after School. I wanted her out of my rice cakes. I need them for my Nutella. Oh, I gave her a key to the house so she could use the computer.
My sister started teasing me that I had a new roommate. I began to wonder if she was right. Then I thought about it.
I reminded her that roommates pay rent. Bebe, ate my food, used my computer, slept in my bed, left her dirty clothes for me to wash but did not pay rent.She was an OPK. Not my teenager.
Just to prove it, I asked Bebe to dust mop the floor on her next visit. I demonstrated the technique, assured her that it wasn't like sweeping or mopping. She agreed.... But she also has not returned to the house.
I wonder why.