Read and Act Accordingly

Good friends and good alcohol are usually a good combination. Until it is not. Like the time my GF and I went for sushi. Our plans had been delayed due to the weather. Originally, we were going to have dinner at 7and then head to the wine bar at 8:30. The night would have ended by midnight with both of us in our respective beds reading a book.
We didn't head to the sushi restaurant until 9:30. We drank sake and with our judgment impaired and the night still young we decided to try out a new bar. We arrived just before midnight and ordered dirty vodka martinis.

Mistake number one, we went with well vodka because we were lazy. Mistake two, we did not have our friends meet us there. Before we finished our first martini we know that we would need someone to pick us up.  She texted a friend and I texted a friend.

As you see. The conversation was normal. I was trying to lead up to the fact that I was quickly getting drunk.
I was in a strange bar with friendly people. We were having a great time but we were fast approaching the threshold for becoming too drunk to drive. We were both having trouble relating our weakness to our friends via text.
Then I decided to drop a big hint that I might need some help.


I should mention that I hate it when lounges have performers and the patrons shout at each other to be heard. I think if you are going to a lounge with a band then you should expect to be silent while the band plays so that everyone can enjoy the music.
Unfortunately, by my second martini, even I was shouting.

;ll

And making a mess.
At this point, I remembered having sake before drinking the martini. A voice whispered to me, "don't mix your liquors."
I ignored it.
and ordered a second martini.
Elossa was out playing cards with his friends. Contacting him had been a shot in the dark.
I tried calling Cousin L who hung up on me. I sent him a text message reading "I am drunk." he didn't bother to text or call me back. I told my friend that I would call my mother and tell on him for not being there when I needed a ride home from the bar. I was pretty drunk. She suggested that I do not call her while I was inebriated and in a bar.My roommate was out of town. It didn't occur to me to call my sister to pick me up and we were hoping that another friend would arrive. I am still upset with Cousin L. Even though, I know that my drunkenness was not his fault. I am upset because he didn't call me until 12 pm the next day.



After we had been in the bar for about an hour other drunken bar patrons began strolling over to us for a chat.
One guy began telling stories of his painful life. My girlfriend became so sad that she cried as he related tales of abandonment and loneliness. Thank goodness, her friend Arturo arrived.He was like our savior.I was so happy to see him.
He informed the bartender that we were done drinking for the night. She decided that with him in the bar she was safe to commence some drunken dancing while the guy with the guitar played. I continued to text Elossa until my girlfriend caught me. She took my phone from me and tried to clean up my position.

I got it back from her. Silly girl and promptly fixed what she had undone.
And this was the last set of messages before I was shoved into the back seat of Arturo's car and driven to the Waffle House.



Dear Waffle House employees: You are amazing folks. I hope that nothing but goodness follows you throughout this lifetime. Thank you for the work that you do.
Signed, that drunk woman who left seaweed on the floor.


What did I learn from this? Sake sneaks up on you. Never go with the well vodka. Always, know who you can call upon when you need a ride. Finally, carry cash to tip the guy who has to mop the floor after your accident.