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Catverbs

Sunday, October 21, 2007

I wanted to share with you some of my Catverbs.

1. Kittens are only cute on TV and in Calendars.

If you have ever had kittens (plural) in your home you know what I mean. They destroy, whine and are constantly underfoot. Literally, underfoot. You are on watch for scratching, clawing, mewing, pooping, and jumping. You beg all of your friends and most strangers to take them off of your hands. The Animal Shelter is always full. And the only hope is a drive to the country.

Stray kittens will always be worse. This year, there have been three sets of kittens in my backyard. One set was caught in May and taken to the animal place for adoption. The second set lost their mom and resisted our efforts to catch them . The two still live behind Lydia and my garages and are about 6 months in age. Fortunately for us, they have been fixed. No yowling or heat screams but there is the poop in my yard that they do for fun while they live on Lydia's porch.

Right now, there are three kittens that seem to defy being caught. The animal organization will only take the kittens with their mom. Lydia has put out animal traps for the past three weeks. Once the mom was caught and we only had to catch the kittens. As Nature has decided in her wisdom to make kittens light as a feather; the kittens were too light to trip the latch and trap them inside of the old cage. They leisurely ate the food and went on their way.

Veterinarian Cartoon 4149

We seem to keep catching the same cats but not the ones we want. Lydia was able to catch two strays and get them fixed. Since that time, they have found the animal trap to be their personal restaurant. Instead of avoiding the site of their capture they visit it frequently to eat the food left there to attract the mom-stray. If you have lost count, that means there are 6 stray cats in and around my yard.

cat cartoon 6756

2. If a cat is permitted to jump on furniture, no one will eat your dish at pot-lucks.

I don't mean to gross you out but you will find cat hair on everything you eat if cats are jumping around. I find a good sweeping 30 or so minutes before I cook and locking the cats up gives me piece of mind. Be wary of anyone who asks you about your dish at the office potluck. They will avoid your food for fear of eating cat hair. I would suggest that you bring store bought food or something that you can put together at the office and pretend that it was never in your house. Or you can just say, "I would love to make something for the potluck but I have a cat."

3. If a cat pees in your car, it is time to get a new car.

I had heard stories about angry cats that pee in their owner's cars or the cars of their owner's boyfriends. Don't piss off a cat...... I had a cat pee on my futon. I cleaned it probably 12 times. The smell was gone but the memory of the action remained. I eventually sold the frame to a friend and threw the mattress away.

When my co-worker's cat pee'd in his car I warned him. Not only would he never get the smell out but his regard for his car would be forever changed. Notwithstanding, how he felt about the cat. He assured me that he would get the smell out. After two months of chemical sprays, he went to the junk yard and purchased a new seat. I warned him that a new seat was not the problem. The car would never be the same. It died a few weeks later. I laughed my tail off.

4. The more money you spend on a cat toy, the less they play with it.

My cat has a collection of hair ties that she has hidden somewhere in the house. I estimate that she has 20 or so ties somewhere. The truth of the matter is that anything not nailed down is a cat's toy! Sad isn't it? They will claim anything for their enjoyment. My cat likes to bite plastic bags. If I leave a department store bag of returns on the floor, I will find little round holes from her teeth marks everywhere. I have made for her several yarn balls so that she will leave my working yarn balls alone.

Well, those are some of my catverbs. Cats are great creatures. I love them but Kitty will be my last one forever.

Do you have any catverbs?

Catverb - a saying that reflects a fact about cats

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